Reconsidering Bachelorhood

Mission's Downfall

It had been two months since their first official date. Throughout those two months they had been on a few more dates. They were just as amazing as the first and both were very content with their relationship. Although they weren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend, they also wouldn't call themselves 'just friends'; they had passed that point a long time ago.

Mizuki's mind was still reeling from how her life had changed so drastically. It had nearly been a year since she made the fateful decision to move to Konoha. In that relatively short span of time she had befriended many wonderful people and now she was dating a famed shinobi and Hokage. In all her 25 years of being alive, she had never met a man that intrigued her or made her nervous the way that Kakashi did.

Kakashi shared a similar sentiment in that she also elicited some foreign feelings within himself. He felt particularly fond of her and even affectionate at times...affectionate enough to actually steal a few brief kisses from her soft lips. He had been anxious the first time that happened. She had frozen up on him for so long. It made him worry that in that moment he had ruined their comfortable relationship. Thankfully, other than that she had not reacted poorly to his actions. In fact, she had retaliated several times by stealing a few of her own kisses in the most unexpected times.

They had planned on going on another date sometime this week but that had immediately changed when Kakashi notified her that he would be absent for two weeks for a mission. Mizuki was saddened that he was going to be gone for so long but he had reassured her that when he returned he would take her somewhere special.

That had been three weeks ago and he was still not back. Mizuki was standing in a hospital room, sanitizing some surgical tools. She didn't realize she had been sanitizing the same scalpel for the last 5 minutes because she was so sick with worry. Usually when a team was late it meant something unexpected delayed them and that usually meant something bad had happened. She tried her best to not think the worst of things because she knew Kakashi was a very experienced and capable shinobi. His team also consisted of seasoned shinobis so there shouldn't be a reason for the lack of faith.

In her distracted state, she finally finished her task in half an hour. She picked up her tray and left the room with the intention of replacing the tools in one of the surgical rooms. On her way to the rooms, she heard a loud commotion from down the hallway. She could vaguely make out the instructions that were being yelled by one of her colleagues. She rushed to the front of the hospital to see what was happening and how she could help.

When she arrived, her eyes widened and she began palpitating in fear. Her grip on the tray tightened to the point her knuckles turned white.

"Mizuki-san!" Her colleague shouted. "Could you please prep one of the operating rooms?"

Mizuki's jaw tightened but she numbly nodded in response. Her brain was on autopilot as her legs carried her to the closet available surgery room. She quickly changed into her scrubs and entered the room getting the required tools out. Just as she was finishing, the doors opened and a team of 5 surgeons walked through, carrying the lifeless body of Kakashi. She quickly averted her gaze and took her position at the side of the operating table. As much as she hated being here, she steeled her nerves and prepared herself for the long surgery.

Nearly 3 hours later, she walked out of the surgery room and took a shuddering breath. She quickly changed out of her blood stained scrubs and left the hospital to get some fresh air. She walked around the corner towards a more secluded area. She took a seat on a bench and that's when the tears began to fall. She didn't want to believe that the body she saw was Kakashi's. She had hoped that she was wrong about something bad happening to him on his mission but her fear became a reality.

She didn't know what happened during the mission, all she knew was that he was on the brink of death...any longer and he would've bled out. Her mind kept replaying the blood spilling from the deep gashes on his chest, seemingly never ending. She kept her nerves under control during the surgery but now that she was sitting out here...she let her tears fall. She felt her tears leave a hot trail over her cheeks and drip into her lap.

Due to her blurred vision, she didn't notice Tsunade walk towards her. Her presence wasn't known until she sat down beside her and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. Tsunade had just finished a meeting with the council when she was notified by the staff about the situation. She had immediately made it a point to find Mizuki to see how she was doing. Although Tsunade didn't like it, she couldn't deny that Mizuki had developed some serious feelings for Kakashi. It would be cruel of her to do anything that prevented the girl, who she saw as a daughter figure, from being happy.

It pained her to admit it but Kakashi was treating Mizuki like a true gentleman should. She was still skeptical of him, however, because she knew about his animosity towards dating and relationships.

Nonetheless, she had to come see if Mizuki was doing okay. When she heard about the situation, she had a painful flashback of an incident in her past that was similar to what Mizuki nearly experienced. Seeing someone dear to you die or possibly die in front of you and not being able to do anything about it will traumatize you for years. It had taken her decades to get over the death of her love, she didn't want Mizuki to go through a similar experience. Thankfully, she only hired the best of the best and they managed to stabilize Kakashi. She visited him to do a checkup herself and was satisfied with his current state, although he was still unconscious.

Tsunade pulled Mizuki closer to her when she heard her sobs get louder and that's how they remained for the day.

It was about 4 days later that Kakashi woke up to the sound of sobs. Slowly he opened one eye to see where he was and noticed that he was trapped in his most hated place, the hospital. He glanced to the side of his bed and noticed a blonde woman with her face buried in his mattress, crying. Her body shook from the sobs. He didn't need to see her face to know who it was. He quickly closed his eyes to pretend as though he hadn't woken up. He wasn't ready to face her right now.

He made a mistake, a grave mistake. He allowed himself to become distracted in battle and that nearly cost him and his comrades their lives. It was an inexcusable behaviour especially coming from a veteran like himself. Those few weeks he was gone gave him time to think about his growing friendship with Mizuki. He had come to the conclusion that he wanted to take a chance and go further with her.

But now...now he wasn't sure of himself. He felt the familiar buzz in his head when guilt and fear gripped him. He was careless and allowed his team to walk into an ambush all because he was too busy thinking about how he could bring this conversation up with Mizuki. He and his team almost died. Laying here hearing her heart wrenching sobs reminded him why he was hesitant when it came to relationships.

He couldn't bring himself to cause her more pain if he ended up dying in the future. This was like life was giving a preview of what was to come in the future. It wouldn't be fair to her having to constantly worry over his safety and not knowing what might happen on the field. Not only that but she was also a kunoichi who had been on a few missions already. If his feelings for her got too serious...he couldn't bear the pain of losing someone important to him again. His earlier plans of wanting to take a chance with her went out the window when he realized the full consequences of what could've happened. Now all he wanted to do was run...

The next 10 minutes felt like hell to him. He laid on the bed completely still and pretended he was still unconscious. Mizuki continued to cry and some of the things she said felt like a knife to his heart. He learned that he was not the only one who had some realizations during the time he was gone. Hearing her confess her feelings when she thought he was in a coma terrified him. There were many moments where he wanted to abruptly get up and interrupt her just so he wouldn't hear all those things.

After those dreadful moments, she had finally left the room to attend to her duties. He waited for the door to close before he finally let out the breath he was holding. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and buried his head in his hands. For the third time in his life he was truly lost, the other two times being when he lost his father and when he slowly lost his old team one by one.

Kakashi pressed his hands into the mattress and fisted them into the blanket. His arms began to tremble as a sense of dread washed over him; he had a decision to make.