one year later..
I throw my purse onto my bed, followed by my keys. I was so tired, I'm pretty sure I had 3 hours of sleep last night which wasn't anything new for me. I took a seat on the couch and routinely grabbing my phone out of my back pocket. Of course I had no messages but I like to pretend I'm a lot more social and popular than I actually am, which isn't a lot. I saw something that really stuck out to me as I scrolled through my twitter feed. Niall had tweeted a link, I thought that was pretty weird because he never tweets, like ever. It was a twitlonger, I felt extremely worried and confused, he never posts these kinds of things. I quickly scroll all the way down to see how long the article was, it took awhile until I could hit the bottom. There were a few paragraphs which usually depicts if I will read it or not, but the title really stuck out to me.
"To the one I once loved.."
Reading that made my heart race, but not because I was in love, but because I was nervous to read any further. I was hoping that what I am about to read isn't about what I think it is.
I guess this will be a little odd to read to some of you, but i know that this will be the only way I can get your (her) attention. About 4 years ago, almost five, I met this girl. She was breath taking when I first saw her, and I know that everyone says that about someone they loved or once loved, but I'm serious. When I spotted her I swear she just sucked the life out of me, but in a good way. I never thought that someone like me would ever have a chance with a girl like her.. Fast foward a couple years and we actually started to ger really close, we had sleepovers every weekend, shared our deepest secrets with each other but never told a single soul, we would go on short drives, and we just became each others best friends, and like any other love story. I fell for my best friend. We got really close, and it turns out she felt the same way as I did about her, which never happens to me, but it's about time something good happened to me, right? We were dating for, what felt like, ages and we grew together. She would tell me stupid jokes that I would, for some reason, think was funny. I would constantly tell her how beautiful she was and she would laugh because she never beileved me, so I kept telling her. I remember she would just look in the full length mirror with the most replusive look, and just get frustrated. It made me upset, so I never let her forget that she was truly beautiful in every way possible.
So if you're reading this right now, which I know you are. You're beautiful.
We made this promise a long time ago, when we were at Liam's party at your guys's house. I brought you to the bathroom because you were so pissed drunk I had to take care of you, I didn't drink that much, only one or two beers, because I had to care for you. You were so upset because you just got out of a long term relationship, and he broke your heart and left. You kept going on and on about how you still loved him, you gave him all you had, but he still had the audicity to leave. This was the same era where I fell in love with you, and this information hurt. I sat you down on the ground because you couldnt balance yourself on the toilet seat or bath tub side. I started to shake your shoulders because you shut your eyes and started to push me away. I said:
"Promise me you will find someone you truly love."
You kept ignoring me, and pushed me even harder but I refuse until I could reassure you.
"Promise me that you will find someone that loves you just the same, but even more. Promise me that you will fall in love with someone that will figjht for you no matter how much times you or him fuck up, but still can say they love you like it's the first day you met. You have to promise me that you will find someone better than that douchebag because he does not deserve you. You deserve someone better than him, you deserve the best of the best, and never settle for less, okay?"
You were still struggling to stand up but I wouldn't let you until you promised me.
"Promise me."
I was starting to get eager, and was acting a little more harsh, but I was not letting you loose while you're still drunk.
You looked up at me with those beautiful light blue eyes and you're brunette strands of hair framing your head with the most angelic face but it was covered in tears and mascara running down your cheeks.
"I promise"
Remember that?
You probably don't but I sure hope you do because what I said back then is what I'm going to say now. What I said back then, wasn't a lie. And I know that you were probably thinking about what I said that night when we were dating, but I guess we just weren't meant to be. Maybe the universe will bring us back together, in a relationship or not. If we were meant to be we will find our way to each other, but I don't know when that's going to happen or if it's going to happen, but I hope it will.
I'm not sure where you moved, or if you even moved, but I hope you are doing well, love. I hope that you are finally happy and can sleep in peace. I hope you fell in love. Maybe it was with him or with someone else, maybe you just haven't found that guy yet, but I really do hope you're happy. I hope that one day I will look in the mail and see a letter with your name on it, and it will be a wedding invitation, because I really want to see you fall in love with someone, even if it's not me, I will have to let you go because I want to see you happy.
I guess we weren't the perfect couple like everyone said. I guess we were never going to be together forever like everyone assumed. I guess we were never meant to be. Typing that and saying that hurts a little, but I can get over it. It has been so long since I last saw you, that I think I forget what you look like. But I still feel the same feelings I did a year ago or even four years ago. I don't know if you do too, which I guess depicts a lot.
Just please tell me you are happy, and settled. I would really love to know how you are.
Never forget what we had, and I will never forget you.
Just please keep your promises and learn from your mistakes.
Even if it means I have to let you go so you can fall in love, so be it. If I can't move on you have to, you HAVE to. I may never get over you, but you promised me that you would fall in love with someone and never settle for less than what you deserve, so please do so. I miss you like crazy and I really hope you are doing well.
I love you, Kate.
I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks all the way to my collar bone, my sweater caught most of the waterworks which was uncomfortable to be in. I exit from the Twitter app and prepare to call someone very close to me. I took a couple deep breaths to control my breathing so I wouldn't freak out.
"It's okay, Kate. He's better off without you." I whisper, trying to convince myself it was true, which I repeated so much that I thought it was true.
I wanted to call a very close friend of mine because I had no one else to talk to about the situation since no one can really understand.
I dial the number I knew by heart and didn't bother searching in my contacts to find.
Three rings was all it took for them to pick up. It was ALWAYS the third ring.
"Hey, Luke? Got a spare room down in LA?"
YOU ARE READING
Love is war ~ styles
Fanfiction"I love you. You know I would do anything for you right?" He barely whispers. "Then tell me one thing; how come I don't feel the same?"