KABILANG BUHAY | markhyuck

one

Screams from thousands of people resonated the whole room. Darkness is all that he can see. The only light are those that are coming from huge spotlights pointed at him and the small flicks of lightsticks.

It’s been a year. Exactly a year since he passed the auditions. Ngayon, isa na siya sa mga sikat na singer-song writer sa Pilipinas. Who would’ve thought that he’ll get on this stage that fast? Yes, maybe that person. Because that person’s the only one who believed on him since day one. That person is his inspiration, his muse, his number one supporter. Siya ang una niyang fan. Ang unang nagsigaw ng pangalan niya. Ang unang nakinig sa mga kanta niya. He’s so thankful of that person. He’ll forever be grateful.

Isang ngiti ang kanyang pinakawalan bago pumikit at tumugtog ng gitara. Lumakas ang mga hiyaw, ang tawag sa pangalan niya, ang mga papuri. Pero sa likod ng talukap ng mga mata, isang tao lang ang nakikita. Sa kabila ng nakakabinging ingay, isang boses lang ang naririnig.

Iminulat niya ang kanyang mata at agad na intinapon ang tingin sa taong tahimik na nakangiti sa kanyang harapan.

He felt like crying. He knows he’ll surely cry.

Isang taon na. Isang taon na nang huli niyang makita ang ngiting ‘yan. Isang taon na nang huli niyang makita ang mukhang ‘yan.

‘Ni hindi man lang siya nakapagpaalam. Hindi man lang siya nasabihan na huli na pala ‘yon. Kasi kung alam niya lang, kung alam niya lang, handa niyang bitawan ang lahat para lang mahigpitan ang kapit sa taong nasa harapan niya. Handa niyang ipagpalit ang kahit na ano, kahit ang entabladong kinatatayuan niya ngayon.

Unti-unti niyang narinig ang paghina ng mga hiyawan nang ibuka na niya ang bibig para kumanta.

Bawat salita, bawat letra ng isinulat niya, isang tao lang ang nasa sa isip. Muli niyang naramdaman lahat ng emosyong meron siya noong mga oras na isinulat niya ang kantang kinakanta niya ngayon. This song is his fastest release. Some of it’s lyrics are already written. He revised it according to what he feels a week ago. He put it on the melody he composed with the person he’s singing it for.

He’s trying so hard not choke. Even though he can already feel the lump building up on his throat, ipinagpatuloy niya lang ang pagkanta. He’s almost only spitting the words. He can also already feel the hot liquid welling on the corner of his eyes. Nanlalabo na ang tingin niya sa paligid at alam niya na rin sa sarili niyang hindi na tama ang bigkas niya sa lyrics kahit first verse pa lang.

He can now hear sobs from the people that are watching him. And it pains him that his supposed to be thank you concert end up like this. He’s supposed to make his fans cry with tears of joy. Pero heto siya at idinadamay sila sa sakit na nararamdaman niya.

Being a public figure for almost a year gave his fans the idea of what his life had been before he debuted. They felt sorry for him for digging his past, for invading his privacy. But he’s thankful that they understand what he was. What he is. He’s thankful that at least they’re here. May kasama siyang ipagpatuloy ang pangarap niya.

He heard his fans sing along with him on the chorus. They’re obviously changing the lyrics in second-person. As if they’re singing it to tell that person what Mark wants to say.

They’re indeed the best. They’re all there on his worst day. And here they are again with him.

In the middle of singing, he stopped and just sobbed. His fans are still singing. They’re all singing for him.

“Iiyak mo lang, Mark! We’re all here for you!” he heard one from the VIP section shouted.

A lot of them followed. Telling him that all will be well in the future. Some even tried to make him smile by saying they will come and smack the reason of his pain on the butt for him. That only made him cry more. Some of his fans threw handkerchief and tissues for him to use.

This will be a big news but no one can blame him. This concert has been planned and announced months ago. Cancelling it six days prior would be unprofessional. But no one can blame him for acting like this. Almost the whole world knows how fragile and devastated he is now. A scene like this bounds to happen. They’re all expecting him to breakdown. It’ll be even a miracle to see him get through this concert without shedding a single tear.

A lot of his fans actually petitioned this concert to be postponed. But eventually, when the organizers said it would be impossible since it’s a week away already, they decided to stop. Three days before the concert, they collectively agreed to lessen Mark’s pain even a little by being with him the night before he bid goodbye to the one he loves. To that person. To his muse. His boyfriend.

Huminga siya ng malalim at sinabayang muli ang kanyang fans sa pagkanta.

The song they’re singing now was only posted the day before this concert. And Mark is shocked to hear all of them sing along on almost the whole song. Na para bang wala silang ibang pinakinggan buong araw kundi ang kantang ‘yon. They know every single word. Maybe they even know how heavy those words weigh for him.

He just let his tears roll as he close his eyes again.

It’s time for him to accept, for him to let go. But before he do that, he wants to remember, to reminisce. He wants to feel it all again.