"Mrs Music"

Chapter 35

*Mackenzie pov

I wake up wrapped in a pair of strong but sinewy arms. I try to stretch but can't, I am being held too tightly.
I whisper his name as I trail my fingers along his jawline. He stirs, groans something in Korean and hugs me even tighter! Ouch. I suck in a sharp breath and he rouses.

"I'm sorry! I hurt you!?" he looks concerned.
"Only a little, I'm ok" I reassure him as he loosens his arms and allows me to move away from him.
I use the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my pits and bits. I can't shower because of all the stitches I have, which are beginning to itch. I look in the mirror and focus on my wounds. I have a swollen and slightly bruised left eye, I guess from all the closed fist slaps Shaun gave me, a small scratch just below, possibly where he dug the razor in my face just before he was shot. I almost cry as I take in the huge cross of the paper stitches on my torso, running my fingers over them, feeling the sting as I do.
I splash my face and take a deep breath. I will NOT cry because of that monster. I'm here, I'm alive......... and in love! And I'm about to leave him!? What am I doing? I really need to be with my kids though.
I re-enter the bedroom and slip on the clothes Yoongi removed from my body last night. I feel so dirty. I check the time on the wall clock...... my flight is due to leave in less than 2 hours, my wake up call due any minute.

"Come cuddle with me" He motions for me to join him. I do. We fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces.
I LOVE to cuddle! It's not something I got with Shaun, my feelings not even on his list of considerations.
He rubs my arm as we lay, my head on his chest, knee over his hips. I wonder how to broach the subject of my flight.
My fingers lightly trace over his chest, like tiny ice dancers and he sighs. I love how content he sounds, exactly how I would feel if there wasn't a cloud hanging over us.
I take a breath and say "I think we need to address the elephant in the room, don't you!?"

He lifts his head from the pillow and shifts position to look at me, a look of utter confusion on his face.
"What?!!? Elephant? I know my English is not perfect, but do you actually mean 'Kokkili'?!"
He demonstrates his understanding by placing his lips together and harshly blowing air through his lips, producing a trumpeting sound, and cupping his ears with his hands and waggling them back and forth. His impression of an elephant.
I begin giggling, he looks so adorable! He huffs at me and sits up, blowing a raspberry at me, then smirks!
"Seems animal impressions are our talents does it not 'Kenzie! I think you don't mean an actual elephant........ do you?!" he asks with a chuckle

"I wish I did" I reply, laying my head back onto his chest. "I think we need to discuss the fact that I have a flight back to England very soon. I want you to understand that I'm not leaving you, that was never my intention, but I just have to see my kids!!. I have to make arrangements for Shauns funeral, or at least help his family with their plans. His parents are sweethearts, it amazes me how two such wonderful people created such a deceitful, violent, unpleasant, vindictive monster! There will be masses of legal paperwork regarding the company, staff to reassure, life insurances to sort out. I'm going to be so busy. You must be missed at work too? Surely you guys should be writing, recording or practising for shows!? Maybe you have performances scheduled? What about all your work on your building project? That will surely require your attention too?"

I'm trying to justify my decision to leave. These are all valid reasons for me to go home, but I really don't want to. I have just found a man that truly seems to care for me. A man who considers my feelings, who seems to want to please me, protect me and love me. A man I realise with a start, whose virginity I have just taken! Before giving him time to answer me I blurt,
"Yoongi........ why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?"

"Well, it's not really something that falls easily into conversation is it!?
Honestly?! I was concerned you would think me a boy, too young to love you, to green to please you. I worried you would not want me. I wanted you to think me experienced. I wanted you to believe I could give you highs nobody else ever has. If you knew I was so minimally experienced AND younger than you, you may have refused me. I was terrified of that" he tells me quietly, stroking my hair.

"You may not have had any sexual partners before but trust me, I would never have known! You are obviously a natural" I say cheekily, pinching his nipple.
He chuckles.

"I am being serious though Yoongi" I say looking up at him.
"You DID give me highs nobody ever has. You pleased me better than either of my previous lovers ever did. I think it was so fantastic because I am actually in love with you. I only ever 'thought' I was in love before........ the difference with you was real love. I love you Yoongi"

"I am IN love with you too 'Kenzie" he responds and my heart swells!