Letters To My Person.

Antagonist

Hate me if you want.
Life is a story and every story needs conflict.
Every good story has a villain.
I understand if you view me as the villain.
The antagonist of your life currently.
You wouldnt be the only one to do so, ironically.
I have done no act in the name of evil yet I am viewed as this... demon of sorts.
You and I both know that im not another of those people.
But yet, here I hold that title.
Given to me either by choice or force in your case.
As well as the others.
I don't blame any of you.
But, for once I thought I was being judged by the fact that I only wanted what was best for everyone else.
I thought maybe you'd see that..i was only ever trying to make people happy.
To love and care for everyone the best I can with the circumstances I was put in...
It's a funny thing, circumstances, the only reason you along with everyone else sees me as the bad guy is because you saw the choice I made...
But if you were in my shoes, and saw the choices I had?
You'd really understand that I took the best options I could under pressure.
I slipped, faltered, but can I be blamed for being human?
If you saw how much I gave in order to minimize as much pain to others in my entire life in every choice that ive made you'd get it.
Life isn't always a good story.
Sometimes there isn't an antagonist. A villain you can love to hate.
Sometimes theres a good person trying really hard to do what's right even if that means being viewed as this bad guy.
If you wish to believe me as a villain.
The whole lot of you thats fine.
But I ask that you all remember who was consistently giving more than his fair share of effort and care into every interaction had.
Who put everyone else first. Always. Even if that meant being left behind in the dust.
Im not a good person, I'm human. I fail and fall short of good.
But it feels like im the only one still trying to embody that sense of good anymore.
If you wish to believe me to be the antagonist to this story, then all you need to do is ask these two questions.
Who promised who they'd never leave?
And,
Who actually has stayed true to their promise?
Because right now...
The answer feels extremely obvious to me at least.
Im not angry, I understand the reasons why.
But I am still hurting.
Even if you don't care...
I do.
Believe..