The Man Who Never Speaks

21. A Parent's Sacrifice

"And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
Give you my wild, give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other"

————

Mary was sitting at her breakfast table, eating the French toast she had just made for herself and read that morning's newspaper. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear her son coming downstairs.

"Mom?" Archie stood next to the kitchen table and looked at his mother, who was snapped out of her concentration by the sound of her son's voice.

"Yes, honey?" She said sweetly, as she put her newspaper aside.

Archie took a breath, as he was about her the one question he hadn't dared to ask her his whole life. However, he felt that it was time. After years of frustration, struggle and sadness he was ready to open up the book about his father, a question that had been on his mind for longer than he could admit.

"Can we talk? About Dad?" He asked her, his voice soft and insecure. The young man was scared, but his curiosity won it from every doubt he still had.

"You want to talk about your father?" Mary asked, surprised, but hopeful.

She had been keeping all the stories about Fred to herself, afraid to hurt Archie even more than he already did. But she trusted him if said he was ready, she could read in his eyes that he was speaking the truth.

"What was it like? When you lost him?" Archie sat down next to his mother at the kitchen table and immediately caught her off guard with his very first question. She had expected a lot, but not this one. He instantly noticed the flash of hurt in her eyes and wished he would have thought it through.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He dismissed his question and wanted to stand up from his place, not sure if they could continue their conversation. However, Mary took his hand in her own and offered him a warm smile.

"You can ask me anything, Archie." She promised him. It had been a long time since she had last talked about Fred's passing.

"Losing your father is the worst thing I've ever been through." Mary confessed, her throat tightening as memories of the moment she heard she had lost him for good flashed in front of her eyes.

"Getting that phone call... it was torture." She shook her head sadly and averted her gaze from her son, afraid that he might see how much she was still hurting after all those years.

"You started to kick around that time. You were a real mover, as if you knew I needed your company." There curled a small smile on her lips as she remembered how in her darkest moments, she had never been alone because of him.

"But you know the worst part?" She continued, Archie's full attention still focused on her.

"When FP came back, alone.... and seeing the look on his face, telling me that it wasn't a nightmare. Part of me had hoped your Dad would return, that I would wake up. But I didn't." She croaked out, tears welling up in her eyes.

When the sergeant had called her, she could barely believe it. Her heart didn't want to acknowledge the news she had gotten, but the spark of hope she had that she would wake up out of his dark and twisted nightmare had vanished as soon as she looked at the face of her dearest friend. She would never forget the pain in his eyes.

"Did you wish you would have done things differently?" Archie asked her, his voice soft. The last thing he wanted was to make his mother upset, but he knew that it was time for him to know everything, including the hard parts.