The Man Who Never Speaks

17. The King's Loss

"The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"

————

TW ⚠️: war flashbacks, character death

Alice gazed at her watch and hurried up the hill when she noticed how late she was. One whole hour. And since FP still didn't have a cellphone, she hadn't been able to reach him and tell him that she'd be home later. But on the other hand, he'd never been one to really pay attention to time, especially not when he was getting lost in his own work. It was what gave him most peace.

When she reached the cabin up the small hill, she expected to find him inside painting another one of his beautiful works. But nothing was less true.

"Sorry, the city council meeting lasted longer than we intended." She excused herself immediately when she walked in, not yet paying attention to the anxious look on FP's face.

But then she shrugged off her jacket to hang it up on the coat rack and her eyes grew wide when she saw the state he was in. He was breathing rapidly, his short shallow breath suddenly sounding like a loud echo in the small living room. His hands were clutching in the denim of his jeans in an attempt to hold onto something, anything.

"FP, what's going on?" She walked over to him immediately and sat down next to him, her eyes begging to meet his.

He looked at her, his eyes scared and sad, tears ready to fall. FP tried, but he couldn't talk. Something was blocking his vocal cords, making it impossible to make sense of what he was feeling. Alice knew enough, first she needed to help him calm down, they would talk later.

"Hey, hey. Breathe in, breathe out." She cupped his cheeks to make him look at her directly at her, telling him that she was here and that he didn't have to go through this alone.

Her piercing blue eyes looking right into his almost breaking soul was grounding him, a magic effect only she had. He followed her example and slowly calmed down, as his shoulders still shocked. Her presence made him slowly feel calmer, until he found himself able to speak again.

FP sniffed and loosened the grip on his knees, slowly relaxing his hand and fingers as he got control back. She let hand go of his face, to give him the space he needed while the other kept caressing his check.

"Where were you?" He cracked out, his lips slightly quivering.

"At work, like I said." She said softly, one hand caressing his dark locks and the other had slid down from his cheek down to his hand to hold it in her own.

"I thought something had happened to you." He confessed, his eyes still glossy.

Normally, he would have averted his gaze from her while sharing such a painful thought, but he was afraid that if he would look away from her, she'd disappear. The thought of the love of his life disappearing when he didn't pay attention for a second was making him more anxious than he could tell her and it was too much too handle.

Alice swallowed. He really had been worried. She should have been more careful and tried to reach out one way or another.

"I really thought I would never see you again." He said quietly, his eyes looking right into hers.

Seeing the pure fear and hurt that flashed over them made her heart ache. She never wanted to be responsible for his hurt and yet as for right now, she was. Though she couldn't have possibly known, she wished that he wouldn't be so scared of losing her. She would try every single day to make that fear less frightening.

Alice had no idea what to say, as she was processing what he had been so worried about. Someone being this afraid to lose her, that was new to her. All she had known was people rather wanting her gone, except for a fear of something awful happening to her. She couldn't recall anyone ever caring this deeply. It was terrifying, but beautiful.