Circles--Shawmila (Complete)

The Dick And The Emotional Basket case

Trudging up the stairs of the Cabello house towards his now ex girlfriends bedroom Shawn sighed. She was a live wire and prone to emotional outbursts which gave Shawn hope that he could explain himself without Naomi's presence.

Stopping just before her bedroom door he could hear her sobbing softly and was pleased that her dad wasn't home. If Alejandro Cabello realised that Shawn was already responsible for his daughter crying in to her pillow it would be over for Shawn, he was sure of that.

Pushing open the door, he took in her tiny frame curled up on her mattress, a huge white bunny wrapped in her arms, she looked like a child, and his heart groaned in his chest. He felt too much when he looked at her, more than he should at this early stage In their relationship but whether she was breathing fire in his face, or whimpering his name beneath the sheets or even now, innocently curled up on her bed she incited a reaction in his chest he hadnt experienced before and that had his hand tingling to hold her and his feet tingling to run as far from her as possible

"So I was about to ask if you had calmed down yet but from the sight of you, apparently not"

Camila shot upright and stared at Shawn, her eyes were red and her lips swollen from crying and he wanted to reach out and take her in his arms right there and then, to apologize for everything he had and hadn't done but that wasn't how he and Camila worked, theirs was a weird kind of relationship and he loved that more than he cared to admit

"Fuck you Shawn" she spat before dropping back down on to her side and pulling her bunny tightly to her

"We will get to that 'Miss. I'm So Eager To Take My Pants Off' but after you accept my apology and I accept yours"

Again Camila pushed herself back up to stare at him, her eyes wide and her jaw clenched

"And what exactly am I apologizing for?!"

"Throwing a tantrum, damaging a car, breaking up with your very hot boyfriend, take your pick but you will be apologizing before I leave this room, believe me" he added a wink and a smirk for good measure and she sputtered, attempting to argue back "don't worry though, if it makes it easier for you just know that I will be accepting said apology"

"You're a dick"

"And you my dear are an emotional basketcase at times, but I think we make a pretty good pairing, don't you?" he dropped down onto her bed and gently began rubbing her foot

"Your foot rubs are shit" she spoke into her bunny but he could hear a lightness in her voice that gave him hope

"Camila I am sorry you saw that you know, I promise it was innocent but I shouldn't have been in that car with her, I know that"

"So why were you? Why did you let her get so close to kissing you?"

"Because I'm a dick? Because I felt guilty about the way I treated her? Cos I'm a guy?"

"None of those reasons are good enough Shawn"

He continued to gently massage her feet as she lay wrapped around her bunny and an uneasy silence fell upon them

"Truth?"

Camila sat up once more and pulled her foot from his grasp she refused to let go of the teddy as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and nodded for him to continue

"You won't like it"

"I don't like any of this"

"Part of me wanted her to kiss me"

"For fucks sake Shawn!!" she threw herself backwards onto her duvet and began crying once more as he crawled up the bed, grabbed her hands and pulled her into an upright position, her face was red and crumpled, her chest rising and falling rapidly in heartbreaking sobs, cupping her cheeks he whispered 'ssh' over and over

"Let me explain Camila, please" he ran a hand over her hair trying to soothe her from the brutality of his words. "I'm not used to this, this kind of relationship, this kind of... Feeling, it's foreign to me and it's scary too. I just thought in some messed up way that if she kissed me and if I liked it then... It would mean this between you and me, that it wasn't as massive and as important as it feels" cupping her face again he lifted her head so she was looking right at him, tears flowing freely and his heart breaking for his stupidity

"Camila I'm sorry I never ever wanted to hurt you. I'm an ass, I was always going to screw this up but believe me, hey, hey, look at me" Camila lifted her bloodshot eyes to meet his "I don't want to lose you, whatever it takes to fix this I will do it. If you want me to keep my distance for a while then I understand"

"No I don't want you to keep your distance for a while!" She pulled her face from his hands and pushed herself further up the bed away from him "I don't want you to keep your distance and I don't want you kissing other girls, I just want you I have always wanted you but now I don't know... I dont know if I can trust you and do you know how shitty that feels? I trusted you when people said I shouldn't, my mother trusted you"

"But I didn't do anything"

"You can't tell me 100% that you wouldn't have though can you?"

"I'm learning here Camila and I'm trying so fuckin hard not to screw this up. Please, I will speak to Naomi, I will make sure she knows that it's you and only you please..." he reached out and took Camila's hand in his and gently raised it to his lips "Don't leave me over this. I need you"

*******************

"You came!" Without warning Naomi reached out and grabbed Shawn's arm, dragging him in to her hotel room and kicking the door shut before reaching to begin unbuttoning his white dress shirt. "God I missed you so much" his top 2 buttons were popped open easily before he took hold of her wrists and gently pushed her from him

"Stop. I'm here for Camila" Naomi froze, her turquoise eyes boring in to his brown orbs

"Fuck Camila!" and her hands were back on him

"No don't do that!" Again he pushed her from him "Don't talk about her like that and don't touch me when I have asked you to stop"

"You are serious about this?" Naomi's face held a look of utter bewilderment "You are dumping me for some hormonal teenager?"

"I told you not to talk about her like that Naomi. Camila and I, it's serious"

"So serious you jumped into my car the first chance you got. A little girl isn't going to satisfy someone like you for long, if at all"

"Look, I came here to apologize to you. For not finishing things with you properly, for giving you some kind of false hope yesterday"

"That wasn't false hope Shawn, that was real, that was chemistry"

"That was a mistake, nothing more"

"Does she really make you feel like I do?"

"That times 1000. I know you won't like to hear this Naomi but Camila and I... Its real, it's everything and I won't risk it for anyone"

"I give you a couple of weeks and you will be bored of your vanilla girlfriend and you will be begging me to take you to bed"

"It's never going to happen. Now please, just stay away okay? I'm trying to work things out with Camila, we don't need you playing any more of a part in this"

"Well Shawn" She raised a perfectly manicure nail to his cheek " Maybe I will, and maybe..." she ran the nail down his cheek and then used the finger to lift his chin to her "And maybe, I won't" pushing his face from her harshly she spun so she looked away from him "You will just have to wait and see won't you? Now run along, I'm sure Kindergarten will be closing soon and your girlfriend will need someone to hold her hand whilst she crosses the road"