How Do I Love You?

crazy bitch

"i was stupid to believe him!" i cried as my head was buried in lydia's lap. "what's wrong with me!"

"corrine, nothing is wrong with you! he's the one that's got issues, love" lydia said as she stroked my hair. we've been in her room for hours, i felt a bit bad, bombarding her with this. but, i needed someone, and she was all i really had.

"i-i just don't get it, why her? i thought he loved me?" i sobbed.

"shhh, we'll figure this out, okay?"

"i've got to talk to her" i said, as i sat up wiping the tears with my sleeve.

"wait, what? who?" lydia queried as she looked at me with concern.

"astoria."
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the next day

lydia tried with every bit of convincing that this was a bad idea. it probably was, but i needed answers—and i was not getting them from him. the pure thought of him made bile itch the back of my throat.

"corrine, please don't do this" lydia pleaded as i got myself ready to apparate to the greengrass manor.

"you can't stop me lydia" i guess that was the slytherin in me talking. i turned my head, gave her a smile, and abruptly found myself standing in front of the doors of the greengrass residence.

here we go

i knocked, i was absolutely terrified and honestly, i had no fucking idea what i was going to say to her. i could literally feel my heartbeat in my stomach and i swallowed loudly as i heard the door creak open.

"corrine?"

"you've got to be fucking kidding me" i seethed and turned around, walking away from the cheater that i called my boyfriend—and the father of my fucking child.

"corrine!—fuck, wait!" he yelled as he ran up to me and grabbed my arm.

"get off of me, you disgusting pig!" i yelled as i swung his hand off of me. he looked at me with surprise, guilt, sorrow. he had absolutely no right to feel sorry,
he did this to himself—yet again.

"look, corrine. just let me explain this, please" he begged as tears welled in his eyes.

"i think i've given you enough chances, draco."

"please—"

"no...we're done" i turned around and began walking away with tears pooling in my eyes. until i felt his arm on me again and pull me back.

"i'm not letting you walk away, i'm not going to let you throw all of this—us, away" he said as he bored his beautiful thundered eyes into mine.

"you've already done that" i said as i squinted my eyes, making sure i threw out a bit of attitude.

"fuck—corrine!" he grabbed my face and forced me to look into his eyes, i tried to pull away from his grasp, but i couldn't. "look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don't love me, do it and we can be done if that's what you really want".

i couldn't tell him that, because the truth was, that even after him breaking apart every piece of my soul and completely tearing my heart out, i will always love him. i guess that was the irony of it all—he could break me in every possible way, and i would still run back to him. every single fucking time.

"i-i can't do that" i stuttered with tears dripping down my cheeks. "why did you do it? am i not good enough for you?".

"i need to tell you something, but not here." he grabbed my arm harshly and apparated us to his manor, in his room—the last place i wanted to be.