Flowers Among Thorns || Bob's Burgers

8- Subtle Reminders

Day Sixteen

Bob

Zeke is Tina's unofficial replacement for the time being. But I don't like the word 'replacement'. He's an...understudy.

He's...taken her place at the grill. The place where I'm always so used to looking over and seeing my child looking back at me.

I suppose it's better than an empty spot beside me, but it doesn't feel right. None of this does.

I'm so sick of the expectation that I'll suddenly get better. What am I supposed to do? Forget?

The question that seems to arise the most is 'how are you doing?'. How the fuck do you think I'm doing? Ah, yes I'm DANDY.

It's a day like any other. Louise and Gene aren't pleased with going back to school, but they can't skip.

Linda can't even crack a smile. Not at any of the jokes she usually loves. Not even at Louise and Gene's little detective agency.

I miss her. My wife. I still smile these days, but it's often followed up by a twist in my gut as I realize Tina isn't here to smile with me.

She isn't here.

Stepping foot in her bedroom is worse. I can hardly bring myself to do it. But it's like my mother's coat. It's safety. It's home. It's familiarity.

So when I have a moment, I go upstairs to her room, inhaling the scent of her pillow.

When she started high school, she wanted to try a more 'grown up' body wash and shampoo. So Linda went shopping with her. Replacing preteen bubblegum scented soaps with lavender mint.

I place my hands over my heart for a moment, taking a breath. This is all too much. She should be in this room.

Her blankets should be messy from just waking up this morning. Her clothes should be strewn about on her dresser, trying to decide what to wear for the day.

Everything in this room is clean. No trace of her. Of Tina's day to day activities. And that drives me absolutely insane.

I can't take any more of this. My heart can't fucking handle it. I slam the door behind me, trying not to hyperventilate and shake.

Linda is outside when I leave Tina's bedroom, noticing my distress. "Bob. Hey, look at me. What is it?"

She notices my hands and takes them in her own. "I've got you. Hey, you're okay. Breathe, babe."

Eventually, I come down from it. That was the first time I was able to do that without my mom or her coat.

"Th-thank you. I'm sorry. I kind of just...lost myself for a second. Thinking about...everything." I explain.

"It's okay, hon. I love you. It's fine, Bobby." She kisses me.

"I love you too. I'm sorry I haven't exactly been the best lately...it's just...God, I miss her, Lin." I say.

Linda hugs me in a steady embrace. "You're the strongest woman I know." I tell her.

"Don't disrespect Lara Croft like that." Linda replies causally.