I Found a Girl

CHAPTER 29: It Can't Be

Jennies POV

Most people have experienced a broken heart, and there are multiple possible causes. But whether it comes from a breakup with a significant other or the death of a loved one, heartbreak is never easy.

Unfortunately, theres no Band-Aid for broken hearts - but there are ways to ease the pain.

Should I be happy?

Heartbreak can be such an intense experience that some scientists suggest it feels the same as physical pain. A 2011 study found that people had similar brain activity when they viewed a photo of a former love and when they burned their arm.

More like someone stabbed me multiple times.

It might even be possible to die of a broken heart. People who are in the early stages of grief are more likely to experience increased blood pressure and heart rate, which can raise their cardiovascular risk.

Jisoos! I should stop reading.

How long does a heart break last?

One study claims it takes around three months (11 weeks to be precise) for a person to feel more positive about their break-up. As I said, though, heartbreak is not a science. Personally, it took me six months before I felt ready to move on.

No way!

These tips can help you start the process of moving on.

1. Acknowledge the truth of the situation.

I know.

2. Identify relationship needs - and deal breakers.

We're not even in a relationship. I don't even know what are we!

3.Accept what the love meant to you.

Love, is what I feel for her.

4. Look to the future.

I am, but she told me she's not into girls.

5. Spend time on yourself.

I am, almost a month now.

6. Give yourself space.

How much space do I need to?

7. Understand it may take some time.

I am hopeless.

I ruffled my hair because of the annoyance I am feeling. Reading this guess won't do any good for me. I drop the book above the table here inside my library. My body slamming on the bean bag, arm above my eyes. Yes, I am hopeless. Because for the past 5 weeks now, I haven't move on from that night, that glamorous night that brought my very first heart break.

I love Lisa, but she is not in love with me. And she will never be. For the past weeks that I have been constantly dealing with this pain, I have read tons of articles about this, on how to move on from the pain. From the past weeks I am constantly finding way of being happy genuinely, of how to stop my tears that always betraying my eyes whenever I am alone. For the past weeks that I am feeling this, my sister always tell me that time will heal. But time brought more pain in me.

For the past weeks, I tried to avoid her. I tried not letting ourselves, even our shadows met. I avoid her during lunch times, during reviews, during hangouts. One time, she tried to confront me, that time I can't even look at her, because if I do, I know this stupid tears will betray me again. Luckily, one of classmates called me for some important matter so I got the chance to ditch her.

I know this is a stupid idea, but this is the only way that I know to somehow, lessen the pain. But I hope she understand. During those times that I tried everything to stay away from her, there are also times that I can't help but be bothered on her. She look worst, I know her body drops from the old her. She attends class every other day, sometimes twice a week. But most of the time, not at all. This gives us worry, but I don't have the courage to ask her. None of us do. Aside from the fact that she attend class less, she also talk to my friends less. I know it, because every time that she will attend class, I am watching her more than the professor talking to the class. Yes I avoid her, but I can't also deny the fact that I miss her. Every single day. But I am so stupid. Is this what love made us do?