Strong (Zerrie FanFiction)

Chapter 18

*Minor Trigger Warning

Zayn's Pov

I've never felt so underpowered in my entire life. I don't even have the strength to go and make up with Perrie, and now I've lost all hope. I might as well give up, being as I strongly believe that Perrie basically hates me now. I mean, I can't blame her. If I was here, I'd hate me too. 

I crawled out of bed, pushing my duvet to the floor. Last night, I couldn't sleep at all which resulted in me sitting outside on my window ledge, watching the constellation. 

The stars were so bright last night and one stood out. It seemed a fairly large size and it was amongst the brightest, out of all of them. It reminded me of Perrie. That star was the one that caught my eye the minute I went outside, Just like when I first met Perrie. 

I gathered all my strength to walk out of my room and downstairs resulting in four worried faces staring right at me. 

"Oh, Hello." I responded, stopping at the peak of the stairs where their faces were visible. 

They answered with a simple greeting and continued to stare at me. 

I frowned and proceeded to head into the kitchen, walking past the dining table where my bandmates were seated at. 

I didn't want to say anything to them but of course I would have to eventually. 

When I entered the kitchen, I gazed upon all the food choices when suddenly my appetite seemed to fade away which made me opt for an apple instead. 

I grabbed the piece of fruit, washing it afterwards and wrapping a paper towel around it. It was green an bitter, very much like my personality right now. 

I walked to the Dining table, finding that the boys were still staring at me whilst observing my facial expression. 

"Guys?" I questioned, unknown to why their behavior was so erratic today.

They each raised an eyebrow and exchanged looks with each other. 

"Are you okay lad?" Liam finally asked, motioning for me to sit down which I gladly accepted. 

"Yeah, Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, moving my eye location from them to the house plant behind them.

"Well for starters, your girlfriend cheated on you." Louis blurted out, immediately covering it with his hands afterwards. 

I cringed at the thought of it. 

"Don't say that." I warned them, my tone was evidently full of anger. "You don't know the full story." 

"Oh yeah? Please do tell us." Harry spoke, crossing his arms. 

"I spoke to Jade earlier." I paused. "She said that they were drugged while out clubbing." 

Their eyes widened and their expressions turned sympathetic rather quickly. 

"I don't know what to say." Liam spoke, clearly speechless. 

I shrugged.

"I don't know the full story since Jade got quite angry at me but god, I miss Perrie." I spoke, my voice was flustered. 

"Don't worry man, It's gonna turn out fine." Niall reassured, making me smile a tad. 

"Thanks Ni, but I don't believe that." I spoke, looking down. "I give up." 

With that, I stood up and walked away.

Of course the boys protested but I chose to ignore it and walkto my room, silently closing my door and locking it.

God, look what I've become.

~

Perrie's Pov

I scrolled through my music library, landing on the song that I've listened to throughout my downfall. When I was going through my depression, this song was on repeat making me feel slightly better yet slightly sadder. 

 "Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame"

By then, I was sobbing. 

I fucking miss Zayn so much and the sad thing is that I can't do anything about it. I messed up, therefore I should accept my punishment. 

Geez, I haven't done this in a while. 

I found myself walking towards the bathroom, searching for the blade that I've kept. I made sure to keep it hidden in a place where I'm certain no one would find it-- I taped it underneath my garbage can with masking tape. 

The girls had gone out to buy some food and of course, I declined their invitation for me to come with. 

There it was, laying on the palm of my hand literally glistening in this lighting. 

So, it's come to this. 

Here goes nothing.

I picked up the blade, drawing it closer to my thigh where all my other scars laid. 

It collided with my delicate skin and blood gushed out. 

God, I forgot how this felt. 

~

A/N: Sorry about that. ^