Letters From The Known | ✔

Letter Fifty

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Hiba had arrived the next day itself. On her way to Waleed's house she had met Haneen's parents who looked devastated. She gave them a hug as words may prick their heart.

No one know best the pain of heart break other than Hiba. Upon reaching his home, she saw a letter lying there with pen uncapped.

22 October 2020

Haneen,

Is life like this? Is the world like this? Stabbing you with an unknown knife? Who thought that I have never imagined in my wildest dream that there would be a time that you would be leaving this world. I thought that we would grow together, laugh as our dementia greeted us. Look at our grand kids, while holding each other hands. Helping to feed each other as our feeble hand fail to feed us.

Haneen no one would know what I am going through, as a kids we were unaware how fate had brought us together. We grew up playing in mud, making others dirty. We grew up by sharing food to the poor people while we remained hungry. We grew up by sheltering stray dog and cats. We grew up by you detesting me so much that your hate made me love you. I didn't love you for your beauty but your heart. Those little caterpillars and earthworm whom we killed without thinking anything, you carried them in your delicate hand and paved a safe path outside. While you grew watching small insects, playing with them, I grew up by feeding them food so that you don't feel sad.

You know Hayati, there is a prosthetics for a having a new leg but not for a broken soul. I cannot still believed it. Two days passed Hayati. We were supposed to be celebrating our anniversary in a white dress, your favourite colour. But guess what, I buried you in our anniversary date. I knew my habibiti was strong, strong as the hundred thrones pricking an innocent soul, strong as hundred knife pricks an invisible heart, then couldn't you fight a bit longer hayati? Couldn't you so that when I reach towards you, we can fight together.

You told me not to cry so I won't cry.

Haneen, it pains. It pains too much to think that you won't be there to cuddle me when I get any bad dream. It pains that you wouldn't be there whom I can love. There won't be a time where we used to go in park, walking together hand by hand. There won't be a time where we would attend any occasions together. There won't be a time, where we would select furniture for our new home. There won't be a time where you could see Hana going to next grade. There won't be any time where you would see Hana riding her first Bicycle. There won't be a time where I would experience the same emotion when you would hand me your pregnancy test report again . There won't be any time, where i would be massaging your swollen foot, fulfilling all your midnight craving. There won't be any time where I would cry again when I would hold our baby in my arm once again. There won't be any time where little Haneen or Waleed would say it's first word, Baba or Mama. There won't be anytime where we would see our children's fighting or hugging each other.

You told me not to cry so I won't cry.

There won't be any time where we would see our children's graduating, them getting married. There won't be any time where we would see together our children marriage, or kids giving us grand kids. There won't be any time where we would laugh as our teeth fall off. There won't be a time where we would hug each other in our last moment. I am numb. The pain made me numb.

You told me not to cry so I won't.

Hayati, there won't be any time where I can crack lame joke to you. There won't be a time where I could tease you. There won't be any time where we would fight. There won't be any time where I could notice your cheeks turning into shades of pink. There won't be a time where we would laugh like hyena. There won't be a time where we could snuck the snacks. There won't be a time for us to star gaze. There won't be any time where we let our emotions speak. There won't be a time where we together would go and attend Hiba's marriage. Tease her. No more. Its just numb.

I have no feelings to express. It's like a path of my life is taken. Hana would never get her mother love. She would be heartbroken to see other kids receiving their mother love. No one can give a love which you had given us. I don't even know why I am writing to you.

My heart only belonged to you and I will never give my heart to anyone except my daughter.

#Myheartisbleeding

Yours Truly

Waleed the heartbroken boi.