Atelophobia || Graser10 // discontinued

12

It was nighttime, after the whole 'meeting the fans' debacle, and we were about to go to sleep. Zach wasn't had a nightmare in a few days, so I hoped this would last just a bit longer.

Keyword: hoped

And of course the two girls we met just 'had' to go all up on twitter and tell their 5,000 combined followers that they had met us and exactly where they did. Guess who's not going there anymore?

"Babe come here, I wanna cuddle before we fall asleep." he reached out to grab my hand and pulled me to the bed dramatically.

"Alright," I said, joking and giggling whilst holding onto his waist. "but promise that you'll try your best to not to have another panic attack tonight. Please." I looked at him, half weary and half pleading.

I love him so much. It doesn't only hurt him when he's sad, or when he hurts himself, it hurts me too. But only me, obviously, because no one else knows about it. I don't think he realizes how much I care for him and how much I want him to be happy at all times.

"I'll try, but I don't think I can make any promises, not yet, anyways." He replied, pressing his lips onto mine for a quick second.

It all seemed to go well that night, all too well. It was almost 4 am, but I still wasn't totally sure he would go nightmare free.

Of course, usually, I wouldn't get up in the middle of the night to go do something, but weirdly, I felt this voice at the back of my head saying: go turn off your light, it's probably on, 10 seconds won't trigger anything, surely. At first I ignored it, saying that my subconscious was toying with me. But it was relentless. Get up! Come on, get up! The voice said. It wouldn't stop. Maybe he's right, I thought, 10 seconds away won't make him have nightmares... Then by some force, I got up from the bed, prying myself from his grip on my waist.

At first he didn't stir, so I left the room.

Big. Mistake.

I felt drowsy and thought I would rest my eyes for a second on the couch, just to get away from how hot it was under the thick covers on our bed.

Sage?! Sage? I heard a voice in my head. Sagey?! Where are you?! Please, please don't leave me. It begged. At first I couldn't recognize it, but I soon realized.

Zach.

My eyes shot open and I burst in the bedroom, flicking on the light, revealing Zach curled up into a ball against the headboard.

"Babe," I gasped before rushing over to him. My arms wrapped around him into a comforting embrace. "Shh... it's okay, I'm right here." I kissed his head and stroked his hair while rocking him slowly.

"I-I thought you- I thought-" he stuttered, breathing heavily from crying. "I thought that you f-finally realized h-how much of a horrible person I was and l-left me." he buried his head closer into my chest, staining my sweater with tears.

"Zach. Stop, do you remember our promise?" I leaned back and look his face in my hands. "The one where I told you that I would never leave? Remember this?" I pulled out my hand from the tangle of our arms and wiped away some of his tears. "This promise ring? It symbolizes our love, it shows how much we love and support each other, no matter what. Look, you're not perfect, although you might be for me, and I'm not perfect either, far from it. But we promised to stay together forever- until we die. We promised to look after each other, to be there. I'm not about to break that."

"I love you so much, I-I guess I'm not ready to believe that someone actually loves me back for once." He said as he nuzzled closer into my neck and played with the ends of my hair.

I took his hands in mine and ran my thumb over the back of his hand. I turned over his arms so that his wrists were facing upwards. "You see these?" I continued, tracing over the marks with my fingers lightly. "These- are just battle scars. They're to show you how much you've come. You know what you told me about a year ago? You couldn't imagine you being here 5 or 10 years ago. You couldn't see yourself with a 'beautiful' girlfriend and hundreds of thousands of loving fans. You couldn't see yourself as being anything else than a sad, depressed teen with nothing to live for. It shows that life does get better, and I'm so glad that you're here to see it." I smiled at him and gave him a closed-mouth kiss on the lips.

"Thank you." he replied, grinning wryly. "You make me a better person, a-and I don't know if it was fate, or just pure luck that I found you, but whoever it was that was responsible for us, I wish I could personally thank them for saving my life."

He laid down on my lap as I looked at him lovingly, and made sure he fell asleep before I went to sleep myself. And when I trusted that he was sleeping soundly, I turned off the lamp while laying down beside him. He snuggled close to me in his sleep, placing his head in the crook between my chest and my chin.

Lol short update but it's v cute amirite

I think I'm going to post a new chapter every time it hits 60-70ish reads, 10 votes, and 5-10 comments so get to work biznatches.

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ily all :)

-Lyd the Lid/Squid