How Do I Make You Feel

Emmitt sat in his room, motionless. He had had the hardest time falling asleep. Now, he stared out his window, the sun barely shining from between the clouds in the gray sky. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, listening to nothing.

But he couldn't block it out. 

He could hear his mother and father arguing. They would casually have simple arguments about everyday things, but Emmitt knew this wasn't one of those. He felt numb as he listened to his father's muffled voice from downstairs.

"Isabelle! My god, what did we do wrong?" 

"Stop saying that, John. We didn't do anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with him."

Emmitt stared, his heart racing.

"My son is not gay. I didn't raise my son to be like that."

"John cut it out! He can probably hear you!"

"Good. I hope he does. He should be ashamed."

All Emmitt could hear next was a whole bunch more screaming and rambling. He also heard commotion and rustling through bags and opening doors. And then, he heard a huge slam that could've only came from the front door.

Suddenly, he heard his own door quietly screech open. Standing there with her hand on the door handle was Maggie. Her face looked scared and confused, as she asked, "Emmitt?"

Emmitt turned around to look at her. "Mags."

She walked in, closing the door behind her. "What's going on?"

Emmitt shook his head slowly. "It's okay. Don't worry about it."

Maggie still looked confused, her brown hair messy and tangled from moving around in her sleep. "I don't think it's okay. Mom and dad are yelling at each other."

Emmitt nodded. "I know. But it's okay."

"How is that okay?" Maggie asked quietly.

There was silence for a minute. "Well, it's not. But as your older brother I have to say that."

"There's no point in lying to me," Maggie said. "I'm pretty sure that's not an older brotherly thing to do."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. It's just- they aren't fighting about you. You're gonna be fine. You don't have to worry."

There was more silence, as Maggie silently thought to herself. "Is it about you?"

Emmitt stayed still. 

"Yeah. Yeah. It is."

As they got silent, their mother's cries could be heard, soft whimpers and huge explosions of angered sobs.

"Mom's crying," Maggie said abruptly.

Emmitt nodded his head. "I know."

"Did you do something?" asked Maggie.

"I don't know- I- well, yes, but I-"

"Emmitt! I'm scared!" Maggie said more louder, putting her fists into clenched up balls, squeezing her palms and resting her arms at her sides. "Just tell me what's going on. Why is mom crying? Why was everyone yelling? Why are you just sitting here?"

"Maggie, I-"

"You're supposed to be my older brother. You can't lie to me and treat me like some baby. Are mom and dad getting a divorce? Because don't think I don't know what that is. Riley Andrews told me that her parents got that too. Everyone felt really bad for her."

Emmitt rested his head down, letting out a big sigh. "I told mom that I was gay. That I am gay. And that's who I am. I went on a walk with Gavin and these guys sorta punched me, which is why I have dried blood on my face and a black eye."