the beauty of water | o. dazai ✔

chapter twenty-three.

The world seemed to quiet in that moment, (Y/n) not sure how to respond. She opened her mouth, no words coming out. Dazai's hands slowly crawled up her arms, briskly touching her neck and tickling her skin, sending a chill through her body. He rested his hands on her cheeks, holding them gentle.

He asked her once more, "Are you leaving the Armed Detective Agency to join the Port Mafia? Are you leaving Kunikida, Ranpo, Yosano, the president—everyone to join the Port Mafia?" He began to close the gap between their faces, (Y/n) reaching up and gently gripping his wrists. "Are you leaving me?"

It feels like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest, she thought as she stared into his dark brown eyes, not sure what to say in that moment. I guess I never really gave it that much thought. I knew that I'd be leaving Kunikida behind, but all of those people too? I'd leave Ranpo and Fukuzawa, even Yosano. But Dazai? I haven't known him for very long, but I don't think that I'll be able to keep doing what I do knowing that I'd never get to see him again. To never hear his voice. To never feel his warm hands or his chest...

"Hey!" Chuuya barked, shoving Dazai off of her. "What do you think you're doing? Cut it out right now, you ass."

"Now, now, Chuuya," Dazai began, shoving his hands into his pockets, "I don't think that was necessary. I was just trying to help (Y/n) make her decision. If she really wanted to join the Port Mafia, she'd have to leave all those people and her original life behind her. That's what you do when you join—you have to give up your past."

Chuuya grabbed Dazai's collar, forcing him the kneel down slightly as he prepared to punch him. He hissed through his teeth, "What you're trying to do is keep (Y/n) from letting her have her own decisions. You need to keep your creepy fingers out of this, Dazai."

(Y/n) reached up to touch her cheek, thinking as the two continued to fight over the situation. Was I really about to leave the agency to join the Port Mafia? Was the switch in my mind that easy to flip?

She was snapped from her thoughts when she heard a punch, looking back up to find Dazai hitting his back against the door. A bruise began to form on his cheek, Chuuya coming back from his fighting position as he readjusted the coat that hung over his shoulders.

"What the hell?!" (Y/n) exclaimed, looking between the two. She walked over to Chuuya, grabbing his shoulder as she asked, "What did you do that for?"

"He was being an ass who thought he was trying to care about you," Chuuya told her, turning back to her. "This is your decision, (Y/n). If you want to leave the agency, you can do that. If you don't, whatever." He reached his hand up, resting it on hers. "I just want you to make this decision."

"So you decided to punch him?!" She walked over to Dazai, reaching up to touch his cheek as the bruise began to form. She asked him in a soft tone, "Are you okay? Is your jaw alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her, grabbing her hand as he looked down at her.

Chuuya scoffed, crossing his arms. "Are you kidding me?"

The two turned back, (Y/n) furrowing her brows as she asked, "Something the matter?"

"You're allowing this backstabbing creep into your life. That's the matter," Chuuya sniped back, walking over as he rested his hands against his hip. "(Y/n)," he took her hand, pulling it away from Dazai, "I don't want you to make the wrong decision. If you want to join the Port Mafia, that's totally up to you. Don't let Dazai tell you otherwise."

(Y/n) swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, pulling her hand away from Chuuya as she stood up. She shook her head, telling them as her voice cracked, "I don't know. Your offer is so tempting, Chuuya..."