the beauty of water | o. dazai ✔

chapter three.

(Y/n) walked up to the door leading to the Armed Detective Agency, her hands resting in her raincoat pockets as her boots squeaked against the marble. She quickly pulled her hair into a ponytail before opening the door.

Inside was something she'd never be able to unsee...

"(Y/n)! Thank god you're here!" One of the staff members ran up to her, grabbing her right arm. (Y/n) looked to the staff member, who's eyes were teary and frightened.

"What's wrong?" (Y/n) inquired, concerned about what was possibly going on. "Did something happen?"

(Y/n)'s attention was then taken away by a hoarse screech followed by a cackle. (Y/n) and the staff member looked from each other towards the source, finding Dazai standing on Ranpo's empty desk.

(Y/n) quirked an eyebrow, looking back to the staff member. "What's wrong with Dazai?"

"I was hoping you could figure that out!" she cried, clearly distressed over the situation. "Kunikida won't do anything until he completes his morning schedule!"

(Y/n) sighed, looking over to Kunikida. The staff member, who was now hiding behind (Y/n) at this point, was correct as to what Kunikida was doing. He was off to the side, pouring his usual morning cup of coffee and ignoring the clearly insane Dazai.

She shook her head, walking over to Dazai's desk and taking a quick look at it, hoping to get some hint as to why he was acting this way. On his desk, she found his Complete Guide to Suicide and partially bitten green-dotted mushroom. She picked up the book, opening it to one of the flagged pages. There she saw a page about a death by mushrooms, but the picture in the book had red dots rather than green.

So he ate a weird mushroom to try and commit suicide? Wow... I knew he could do some dumb things, but this takes the cake. She looked up from the book as Dazai jumped off of Ranpo's desk, looking out the window and raving about a sea anemone eating a banana outside. He's clearly high, but how do I snap him back to reality?

"(Y/N)~" he cooed in a sing-song tone, prancing over to her as she stood at his desk. "Come on, don't work so hard Ms. Ex-Police Officer!" He pushed the book she was holding down, getting right into her face as he started to turn bright red. "Why don't you commit a double suicide with me?" He pulled back, wildly gesturing as he got very loud. "We can live together in the afterlife forever—"

He was cut off by Kunikida finally stepping in. Kunikida kicked Dazai in the side of the head, sending him flying into the nearby wall and smashing into it. Dazai slumped to the ground, passing out from the blow and hopefully knocking him from his temporary high.

(Y/n) let out the breath she had been holding, turning to Kunikida as he walked back to his desk. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me," he told her, placing his coffee down and sitting at his desk. "Just be glad he didn't do anything too stupid... other than eat that mushroom in the first place."

(Y/n) nodded, silently agreeing with his statement. She then turned to Dazai's unconscious body, his face planted against the floor as he stuck his butt in the air. It took a lot of (Y/n)'s strength to try and not laugh, despite the hilarious position he had been put in.

Her laughter was subsided when another thought came into her head. Wait a minute, that was the first time Dazai has ever asked me to commit a double suicide with him. I mean, out of all the times he's clearly flirted with me, that was the first he's ever asked. I wonder if he would've asked if he were sober rather than higher than a bird on crack. I doubt it, he knows I would've told him 'no'. But still, she turned away, walking to her desk and taking off her raincoat, I wonder why he hasn't asked before.