~BSD oneshots~ [REQUESTS OPEN]

Understanding (Atsushi x reader)

,,(Y/N) do you have any rope you don't need?" Dazai asked, as you were sitting in the Agency trying to concentrate on your work. ,,No. Go fuck yourself." You said harshly. ,,Oh come on! Stop being sooooo ruuuuuuude! It's no fun" It almost sounded as if he was singing these words with a fake sad face. ,,This time I have to agree with Dazai. You are the member of agency for almost three months, but you still act as if we all are some dangerous strangers that will use every single kindness against you. You should try being a little kinder sometimes." You heard Kunikida's voice. But it was not like you really cared.

It was true that you didn't trust anybody and when it was not necessary, you barely talked. It was because you had quite rough childhood, you never had parents you could trust and whenever you told somebody too much, they used it against you. You were betrayed so many times, so you didn't even count it anymore. You just didn't want to get hurt again, because even when you were so young, your soul already had so many scars. Too many to live a normal life as anybody else.

You never admitted it, but you hoped so much for meeting somebody, who could understand you. Somebody, who could see much more of you than the cold and heartless shell, that was hiding your true self before the whole world, without you being afraid of being betrayed. But you no longer believed somebody like this could appear.

After a day off you had, you came back to agency and the first thing you noticed was a cute white haired boy. As his eyes slipped on you, he took a step back, as you looked at him. ,,(Y/N), this is Atsushi. Our newest member." Dazai said with a big smile. ,,Atsushi, this is (Y/N)." Atsushi just nodded, some signs of fear visible in his eyes. You weren't sure why, but he seemed different than the others. But you didn't concentrate on this feeling, you didn't know him at all. You just got to do that annoying paperwork.

,,(Y/N), can you do me a favour?" Kunikida asked with his usual serious tone. You nodded as he continued. ,,Atsushi doesn't have a place to stay and when you live in one of agency's apartments, can he live there with you? I mean until we get him a better place?" ,,What? You wanna tell me that agency doesn't have any free room for him?" You asked, sounding kinda annoyed. ,,That's right." You tried to find a better solution, but you didn't.

In your apartment

,,You are (Y/N), right?" Atsushi asked, not really because of not being sure of your name, mostly it was because he wanted to break that awkward silence. You only nodded. ,,You don't mind me being here, do you?" He continued trying to make you talk a bit. You were not really sure of what to say, you wanted to keep the stone cold mask on, but you also didn't want to make the boy feel even more unpleasant than he was, because he really seemed kinda worried about nearly everything. ,,As if there was a choice..." you said, in your voice was obvious that you didn't really care. ,,Uhm.... you aren't really a talkative person, are you?" He laughed awkwardly, but when you didn't answer, he gave up and started minding his own business.

As a few days passed, Atsushi seemed to be getting friendly with everyone. To be more exact, everyone expect you. No wonder when you didn't even talk to him when it was not about work. But every single time you were pushing away his tries to talk to you, you experienced a new feeling. Something, you didn't know you can feel yet. It was like pushing him away was hurting you from inside. Every time you saw him leaving with a sad face, you felt bad for a poor boy. He didn't deserve to be pushed away like this. But in the beginning you were afraid of taking to him. You were afraid of saying something you don't want to say, or exactly of that being used against you. And now... it would be weird to suddenly start talking to him, no matter how much you could want. That's why you kept pushing him away.

You were in your room, doing nothing, just looking out of window because you couldn't sleep. It was about 2 AM, when you heard quiet sobs from the next room. From his room. He probably was crying. In the beginning you weren't sure if you should enter his room and do something or not, but the longer you heard him crying, the more it was hurting you.

He was in his bed, hugging his knees and screaming while crying. ,,Can't you just leave me be?" For a few seconds you thought he was yelling at you. ,,You already made me suffer enough!" He continued. You wanted to leaved. ,,I'm not weak! Just stop this! Please! It was enough!" Then you realised that ho was not talking/yelling at you. But if not you, then who?

He still was asleep, the poor boy probably had a nightmare. You sat on his bed and gently shook with his body, making him wake up. His big eyes opened meeting with yours. ,,(Y/N)" he whispered your name. ,,Are you allright? You probably had a nightmare or something." You said with a soft and caring voice, the one he never heard from you. The one nobody heard from you in years. ,,Yes.... I - I'm fine." You carefully wiped his tears, still unable to stop looking in his eyes. You didn't realise before how beautiful they were. ,,This happens often, it's making me remember my past." He said quietly as he sat next to you. ,,You don't have a really good past, do you?" His eyes were filling with tears again as he heard these words from you. ,,I mean you don't have to answer if it's making you uncomfortable or something." You said, but he shook his head. ,,It's allright." He explained his past and everything. Now you finally were able to understand him. You finally understood why he was so nervous about the most of things, why he was so hard on himself and many other things.

You didn't know what to say. He really went through a lot. That's why you stood quiet and just softly hugged him. For a few seconds he seemed to be surprised by the sudden change of your acts, but then he curled up a bit, that's when you couldn't hide a smile, looking at how cute he was. ,,Thank you (Y/N)" he whispered and the two of you stood like this for a few minutes, then you realised he fell asleep in your arms. You tried not to move too much so you don't wake him up, you just got a bit more comfortable and covered the two of you with his blanket, it didn't take you too long time to fall asleep too.

I hope you like it. Also write to the comments who do you want next.