Across the Globe [COMPLETE]

Soldier Down

15TH OF JULY

Samantha

There’s no light coming in from the window as I leave the bed. I search around my bag, grab a pair of thick leggings and a long sleeve top, and I quietly get changed. I open the door without making a sound and I tiptoe to the lounge. I grab my jacket from the hook, zip it all the way up and slide open the lounge door to step out into the deck. 

The world is so quiet. There’s no birds singing yet, and all I can hear is the crashing of the waves on the sand only a few meters away. I head to the wooden steps that lead straight to the beach, and not caring about the cold, I leave my slippers on the first step. I walk down slowly, the morning dew wetting the soles of my feet and sending shivers up my spine. I grab the handrail to make sure I don’t slip, and let the coldness make my fingers go numb.

As I step onto the sand, my heart is so full I almost feel like crying. I wiggle my toes and let the sand get in between them. It’s still dark, and I can barely see the sea in front of me, but I can hear the waves crushing lightly, and it makes my heart flutter.

Once I’m close enough to the water for the foam to barely touch my toes, I fold my leggings up, all the way to my calves, and take a few more steps forward. The water kisses my feet fully, and I watch it dance around my ankles. To my surprise, the water feels warm compared to the cold air surrounding me.

I turn around, and I look up to the little house past the deck. The sun is poking up behind it, making the sky turn peachy while colour slowly slips into the world. As I’m standing here, I watch the sky turn from orange to pink, hues of lilac and purple showing up like brushstrokes. I feel as if the sky is Mother Earth’s canvas, and I’m watching her paint as new colours keep showing up in the sky. Before I can stop it, a tear rolls down my cheek, and I’m reminded of my dear Little Prince. 

'One day, I saw the sun set forty-four times! You know, when a person is very, very sad, they like sunsets.'

That quote always gets me thinking. So I turn back around and look at the water, unwiped tears running freely down my face. There’s a little hill to my right, green bushes and little trees cutting off the beach into a dead end. To my left, the beach seems infinite. 

The sand is almost white, with a glint of orange as it reflects the sun. I’m surrounded by the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. And in the quietness of the morning, the cold seeping all the way to my bones, I notice a sense of aliveness I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before. 

That’s when I realise, that there is something the little prince didn’t know. And it’s that one can also love the sunrise when one is very, very happy. Because as another tear rolls down my cheek, I realise this is probably the first time in my life that I cry out of happiness.

“Thank you,” I say as I look out into the ocean. “I don’t know who I need to thank for bringing me here, but thank you.” 

This is, in a way, a sad kind of happiness because it's laced with years and years of unshed tears and unspoken words. Standing here, I understand how this is the first moment of real peace I’ve had since this journey started. The last couple of days have been so full of adrenaline,  unexpected adventures, and unsettling news, that I had almost forgotten why I was here to start with. So I tell myself I’m standing in the land where I was born, my feet connecting to the Earth underneath me, the Earth that bore me, the Earth that bore my roots.

I’m as close as I might ever be to my father. 

I reach up to grab the pounamu hanging from my neck, and I squeeze it tight inside my first. The emotions are a whirlpool inside my chest, and I take a few deep breaths to let it all sink in.