It's Okay To Be Killers // NCT2020

goddamnit kyungsoo

[Underneath the church]

It was 5 a.m in the morning and my brain wouldn't shut down. It was as if something was stopping me from falling asleep and my brain whirred. I found myself feeling empty, my body tensed up as I thought of my memories with Jaehyun. It was awhile since I've reminisced. I wasn't very sentimental. Beside me was Jisung and I leaned my head against his, hearing his stable breathing. Chenle was still on the given computer, Xiaojun also knocked out. It was an emotional day for all of us and we had spent twelve plus hours trying to comfort each other to no avail.

Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun were sleeping on the floor.

Renjun had already fallen asleep and I saw that Jaemin had tucked his face against Jeno's neck. He was whispering about something and Jeno was simply replying. I moved and I heard Jeno call my name, his voice bouncing off the walls and I responded almost monotonously.

"Can't sleep," I told him and Jeno sighed. Jeno, like me, was horrible in comforting those around him but I appreciated how he always hovered around when he knew I wasn't feeling all that well. Jeno told me to try to go to sleep when Jaemin spoke.

"Life." Jaemin's was hardly ever this way, he spoke softly and I turned to see that he had stopped hugging Jeno, the male staring at the ceiling. "How unpredictable."

"I just want this to be over," I found myself saying. I did find a family, but it came with such a big sacrifice and that was my peace. "I want to go back to being Oh Dana with no worries."

Jaemin looked like he was deep in thought, chewing on his bottom lip. "I've always had worries."

Jaemin clicked his tongue, suddenly smiling to himself, an eye going to stare at Renjun. "I just want the future to come very quickly. I have a promise to fulfill."

We basked in the silence for a moment when Jeno asked what the promise was. He said that Renjun mentioned it to him in the submarine before and Jaemin chuckled. He agreed that Renjun really did take their promise seriously.

"I met Renjun two days after I escaped the mental health facility," Jaemin began, his eyebrows furrowing. "I was running around, enjoying the newfound freedom when I went up to the rooftop of a twenty-floor abandoned building. I went there because there were news of a shower of shooting stars and if you make a wish on a shooting star, it will come true. It's proven and a very scientific fact. I don't know if it was a coincidence but I believe that I chose to go there for a reason."

Only Jaemin would believe in making wishes on shooting stars.

He smiled to himself, shifting to glance at Renjun's sleeping face.

"He stood there; his arms wide open. He didn't even look down at the height. He didn't seem scared. He was wearing a dark red shirt and pants," Jaemin recalled the details of that night. "And at first I wondered if it was a ghost until he began to speak."