The Hollowed

Chapter 5

Family

"Were supposed to be a family, act like it."

The funniest joke I've heard in five years.
Im not the one breaking this 'family' apart, or destroying what a family is supposed to consist of: Love, trust, and determination.
Not whatever it is you are distributing and claiming it is.

Why do you have to do that? Give me some great speech asking me what's going on with me and claiming how I've changed and that I back chat you and that you've had enough. You've had enough?

Horseshit.

You're so low that you have to break others apart to feel better about yourself because you can't look at yourself in the mirror. I pitty you. I fucking pity you, and I Hate you so much.

You're the Adult, you're supposed to be responsible and know better, you're supposed to set the example.

You're supposed to be a better person.

You go around shouting like a mad animal at everyone in the house, not just me. It's not just me your breaking down. My 2 cousins moved in with us recently because their mother died.

The oldest is 14, I've known him since I can remember. He's one of my best friends, and I really care about him. He's strong-willed and one of the smartest people I know. The youngest is 7, she's soft hearted and gentle.

And it tears at me to see you break them down piece by piece like you did to me. How you shape that small child to your liking and your rules,  how you steal the light from her eyes with just your presence.

How you stain her soul with your shouting and opinions drilling into her mind how you want her to act. She won't last long, she's too soft, and I feel so so sorry for her.

My oldest cousin shares my opinions and lack of respect for you. He sees what you do to them, and he can't do anything about it. He's too scared, and so am I. I wish they don't have to go through what I did, I don't want to leave them in that house with her.

I wish I could help them. I wish it with all my heart. What am I supposed to do? I can't face her... I can't.
I'm too scared.

Those factory doors are rusting, peeling away paint little by litte. They won't last for much longer, and I'm dreading the day they finally break.
The day I finally break, and shatter.
Maybe it won't be like that, maybe things will work out...but I'm not sure, I never have been.

Why am I going through this? Why?
Is it for some sort of character-development? So I can turn out stronger in the end? I don't believe that.

I won't make it.

I feel it in the broken shards of my soul.

I don't want to live like this. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I can't take it. I can't.

Just...make it stop..

Please.