the roommate ；xu minghao

twenty one

✧ Minghao's pov

My closed eyelids felt heavier and heavier each second that passed, my mind now hazed as I recognised that comfortable yet uneasy feeling of falling asleep, not knowing what relied on the other side of reality.

When was the last time I actually fell asleep? When was the last time I felt this alive in my own body? I couldn't quite remember.

The darkness now surrounding me was almost blinding, my senses were reduced to nothing as I fell more and more into this unknown void.

The gloomy place I found myself in welcomed me with its black cold arms, embracing me and my sight anywhere I would turn, not a single thing that could help me to understand where I was.

It wasn't the first time I had this kind of visions, but this time it all seemed more vivid and closer to real life than the last times. They had always been blurry and very short, and because of that I couldn't distinguish much. Not that now I could grasp more than what I knew already.

My feet, which I could finally see after a long time, were touching a wet lucid pavement, a thin layer of what I assumed was water tickled my skin and continued to flow further ahead on the icy surface.

My hands too were now visible to my eyes, the natural colour of mu skin comforting me after a long time.

I traced blindly my fingers on the ice below me before reaching forward and behind, but it seemed like I was in the middle of pure nothingness. I was confused, however the feeling of joy that bloomed in me as I could finally use my senses properly was killing the fear and anxiety in my heart.

Quiet splashes of water echoed in the silent dark space as I stood up and squeezed my eyes to see if there was something in front of me, but my eyes only met more emptiness.

I brought my hands around my mouth before taking a deep breath. "Hello?". I shouted. The word started spreading all around me, leaving me with more unanswered questions. Definitely strange : the last time my mind took me here I could hear some kind of presence, but the vision was so short that I couldn't take anything from it.

I carefully started walking up ahead, still looking around and staying alert to catch any sound other than the water and my breathing that would resound in this place.

I was feeling relieved and happy to be able to feel myself in my own body, and not just live like a ghost, which meant no real interactions with the living beings and no perception of your real form; I was thrilled at the thought of experiencing all over again the emotions and the feelings of being in my own body, being again me.

Then what was this heavy sorrow that squeezed tightly my chest? Why was I feeling like I was being ripped apart? Sad? Angry? Frustrated?

I gripped my shirt tightly as a boiling warmth arose around my heart, leaving me out of breath and stopping me in my tracks, making me curl down.

My entire chest was blazing, my left fist clenched on the ice surface while I tried to support myself up, the right hand placed directly on my heart, which was beating like crazy. "What is happening to me? Help...". I whispered out with the remaining bit of my voice. "It hurts...". I said as I looked down on my chest just to see a orange light pulsing under my torso.

Was I more scared to see this strange light shining inside my body or was I more terrified that I was feeling like dying?

I tightly shut my eyes, praying that this vision would end soon and that I wouldn't have to experience this again. It was like someone was pouring boiling water right onto my skin and then it made its way under it, burning whatever the liquid could find. I hoped it would all stop. This was torture.