Rebecca's miracle

Twelve (January 1993)

Rebecca Pov

Yes, we have skipped a bit of a chunk, but I did warn you about the holes in my memory from being an alcoholic so young, I promise this isn't going to turn into a lecture, (as I'm not a hypocrite).

Anyway, I was awake early, (though I think that I actually didn't sleep the night before as I was extra fucking moody), I had made myself like 2 cuppas to try and wake me the fuck up, because a) I was tired but I also knew that I wasn't going to sleep, b) nobody else was up to mention my caffeine intake as a 12 year old and c) because I was an early alcoholic, if I wasn't having alcohol that day, I needed like a fuckton of caffeine, (before you come at me about caffeine, I'm not a neurotypical person, so caffeine affects me differently, it doesn't make me sleepy or anything but I feel better when I drink it).

"What'cha doing with 2 cuppas?"

I was so tired that I didn't hear Leo come down the stairs, and so he caught me with my 2 cuppas, me feeling like an absolute numpty for not hearing out for Leo better, but I now know that Leo could actually be stupidly quiet when he wanted to be, (which was always when I needed him to not be quiet).

"I'm tired and tea helps me feel better"
"That'll make you hyper for school though"
"Nah, not really"
"You've done it before?"
"I have, more than once"
"Jesus Christ Kiddo, you're going to wear yourself out one day"
"I'm hoping that doesn't happen while I'm at school"
"Would you sleep if I kept you off?"
"But I'm not sick"
"That's not the question I'm asking you"
"I don't know, I've never been given that option before?"
"Alright we'll come back to that"

To be fair to Leo here, he didn't say anything else about what I told him, but I just know that he had many feelings about this, as he wouldn't have been used to me saying things as they were yet, (it takes a while for most people), plus he probably had other things on his mind, (he was a single parent raising 3 kids, so he was actually doing ok all things considered).

"Rebecca, Sweetheart, there's something that I need to talk to you about-"
"Shit!- sorry, what did I do?"
"You've done nothing wrong, it's about you being here long term"
"Am I moving-"
"No no, the opposite actually, uh, how would you feel about me adopting you?"

I was surprised that Leo would even want me, but looking back on it, (yes, we're going to be looking back a lot, sue me), I was allowed to do a lot more than most 'foster care kids' would've been allowed to do, (not that I knew that at the time, and I now feel weird calling myself that, but that was what I was at the time).

"You want to adopt me?, but I'm like, totally fucked in the head-"
"Rebecca-"
"Sorry, I forgot that you don't like me saying that about myself, but I'm not totally right up here, that's a lot to sign up for"
"I know what I'm signing up for Darling, I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't know what I was signing up for, and that's only if you want me to-"
"I want you to, Rebecca Morrison has a nice ring to it, I'm getting rid of Mary though as I'm no old lady"
"(Snorts), Alright Sweetheart"

It was nice to be wanted, I hadn't really felt wanted before, (and sometimes I wish I could hug my younger self, but I can't time travel, and younger me would freak out about me actually still being here), I didn't want to say that to Leo though as I knew that he would be sad about that and I didn't like making Leo sad, (well I still don't like making Leo sad).

"Is Levi picking you up today?"
"Yeah, he usually does, that won't be for another hour or so though"
"Why is that?, you don't need to be there for another couple of hours yet"
"We get to chat a load of rubbish before school that way"
"That does make sense I suppose"
"Well I say that like Levi doesn't talk during lessons"
"(Snorts), I would say something about that, but I can't talk"

I didn't do much else after this, as I was essentially ready for school already, (while insomnia is a bitch, it does have some perks I guess), I might've spaced out a bit, though I also could've just forgotten what I actually did because of the bloody memory gaps and shit, so like take that as you will.