All I Wanna Do | Danny Amendola

Chapter 22

"Are you sure you want me to come with," Danny asked as he slid his wallet into his pocket.

We were set to go to my appointment with the OBGYN, where she would be examining me to find if there was a reason I lost the baby. It'd been a week since that day and here I was, an hour away from finding out why I lost our baby.

I let out a sigh and nodded. I plopped down on the bed and watched him through the mirror. "Yeah," I mumbled. "I really don't want to go alone. I'm so nervous."

Danny didn't say anything as he turned around and moved over to me. He squatted in front of me, placed his hands on my thighs and looked up at me with those careful brown eyes.

"I'll be there, Jame. I'll always be there," he told me. "I promise, I'll be right along with you."

I held back my tears as I nodded. I loved to hear it, but hated it at the same time. I didn't deserve to be so supported when I lost our child— our baby girl.

"You can talk to me," Danny said, his eyes looking up into mine still. "What's going through your head?"

I shook my head and placed a hand on top of one of his. "I don't deserve you," I whispered. "You're way too good for me." A stray tear pulled down my face.

Before I could wipe it away, Danny brought his free hand up and wiped it away with his thumb. "I could say the same about you," he replied. "You're so much more perfect than I'll ever be. You've made me a better man. You've taught me what love is. Don't take things so hard, Jame... Overthinking will only hurt you. Whatever you have to say, you can always tell me. Even if it'll hurt me. I love you."

With furrowed brows I just looked down at him. I knew he loved me, but I couldn't help but question why he still did. I'd ruined the one thing he wanted more than anything in life... "Love you, too." My voice was barely a whisper.

His hand grasped mine as he brought it up to his mouth. "We should go. We don't want to be late," He said.

I nodded. "Okay." He stood up and held his hands out for me. I grabbed them and he pulled me up. Once I was at his level, his arms wrapped around me.

My arms wrapped around him as I held onto him for dear life. I had no idea what to expect at my appointment. My heart told me I miscarried due to negligence... My gut instinct told me there was something wrong with my body.

"It'll all be okay," Danny whispered as he kissed my forehead. "It will."

***

My chest was pounding. Damn near jumping out of my chest as we sat in that quiet waiting room. As my foot tapping began to pick up, Danny reached over and put a hand on my knee. "You need to be a bit more relaxed. You know they'll be checking your heart rate and your blood pressure."

I sighed and leaned so my head was resting in Danny's shoulder. This was taking forever and all I wanted to do was get this done and over with. "Why's it taking so long?" I whined.

"We'll be called in soon enough." Just as he said that, a nurse came walking in from behind back.

"Jamie," she said as she looked down at a stack of papers. When she looked up to see us standing up, she smiled.

"Hello Jamie," she greeted. "Who is this?"

"Hi," I replied with a small smile. "This is my husband, Danny."

"Hi Danny. You two can follow me," she informed as she pushed her way into the back, holding the door for us.

She led us into a room and asked me basic questions that every doctor's office does. Once she was done, Danny and I sat there in silence.

My heart rate was elevating and I knew it. I balled my hands and attempted to calm my breathing, but was unsuccessful. "Hey," Danny spoke up. He was looking up into my eyes from the seat next to the examination table. His hand firmly grasped mine. "You'll be fine."

"But Danny... What if..." I began and shook my head. I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want to jinx anything.

"Don't think like that," he began. "You're always such an optimist. You need to stay positive."

As I was about to shoot back a snarky remark, there was a knock on the door, and the doctor popped her head in. "Hello, Jamie. I am Doctor Levi," she greeted with a smile as she moved in. She shook my hand. "And who do you have with you?"

"This is my husband, Danny," I told her, nodding over to him with a small smile.

"Hi Danny," she greeted, shaking Danny's hand.

She moved over to the rolly chair by her desk. "I know this will be a rough appointment given your situation," she began, locking eyes with me. "Just know that I am here to help you with anything."

I visibly swallowed as I gave her a nod. I knew she was trying to reassure me, but it didn't change the fact that I was terrified.

"Now if I could have to lie back on the table and pull your shirt up," she requested. She still had a small smile on her face.

I moved back on the table and moved so I could pull my shirt up. The doctor pulled a gel out of a cupboard and began to spread it with a wand attached to a screen. It was pretty damn cold.

As I sat there, looking at the screen in question, Danny's hand firmly grasped mine as if telling me that it was all okay. 

I verbally relaxed as his warmth made me feel more comfortable. The doctor let out a sigh and hit a few buttons on the screen before handing me a towel to wipe off the disgusting gel.

She soon had me prop up my legs on some frame type things, and began to examine my opening. It wasn't that awkward, but I didn't necessarily enjoy it.

"Alright," she said as she filled out a few things on a piece of paper as I put my legs back down. "It appears that you have an abnormally shaped uterus, also known as a bicornuate uterus."

My breath got caught in my breath as my hand tightened around Danny's.

"What does... Does that mean?" I questioned. I felt bad for Danny, my hand was beyond tight around his.

"Your uterus isn't shaped like a normal uterus," she informed. "That makes it extremely hard for anything to attach to your uterine wall... You were lucky to conceive in the first place."

My whole body tensed as I looked at her in shock. 

I apologize for the lack of updates. I'll continue to work toward updating when I can.

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