All I Wanna Do | Danny Amendola

Chapter 19

** Danny's POV **

I nearly fell into the bench that was outside the hospital. Bile began making its way up my throat as my breathing became labored. I leaned over the side as everything that I had consumed that day came up.

This couldn't be. It couldn't.

Tears pulled from my eyes as I began dry heaving. I'd never felt as weak as I did at that moment. As I wiped my mouth with my arm, I leaned back and looked up toward the dark clouds above me. It was sure to rain any minute.

Sweat was beginning to bead in my forehead as I brought one of my hands up and pulled at my hair.

My heart was shattered. Completely shattered.

All I could think about were the words that came from the doctors mouth. It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real. There was no way.

She hadn't seemed any different. She seemed the same she'd always been.

My heart began pounding faster as my vision became blurry. Whether it was the tears or just dizziness, I didn't know. The next thing I knew was I was retching nothing into the bush next to me.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Amendola," the doctor's voice still sat in my head.

"You can see her if you'd like."

How could this have happened? Why me? Why Jamie? Why us?

I leaned forward, digging my elbows into my knees as I pulled at my hair again. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping this was just a nightmare, but when I opened my eyes and looked to the sky... Rain was coming down.

It was real.

I shook my head at myself. I should've bee-

"Dola," Julian's rushed voice came out as he ran out of the doors. "They need you."

** Jamie's POV **

I flinched as pain shot through the lower half of my body. Unfortunately I was awake and whatever pain killers I was on were wearing off. As I let out a huff and my body began to relax again, I opened my eyes to a dark, empty hospital room.

All I could remember was the pain I'm having now and passing out in Julian's arms. Where was Danny? What time was it? It was dark. Surely he should've been at the hospital by now.

As soon as I noticed the remote sitting on the bed next to me, I pressed the big red button in the middle. After a second, a female voice came through. "We will be right in, Jamie."

I let out a small thanks as I rested my head back against my pillow. What was wrong with me? The pain wasn't as crippling as it was earlier, but it was still pretty bad.

"Hello, Jamie," a nurse said as she popped into the room. "Are you feeling okay?"

A shaky sigh left my mouth as I shrugged. "Okay I guess. I'm cramping really bad right now... What happened?" I moved to sit up, but couldn't. I rested back into the pillows and looked back at the nurses sympathetic eyes.

"The doctor will be in a few," she informed me. "I can get you some Tylenol if you'd like. That's what we'll have you take when we send you home later on."

I nodded. "Yeah... I feel like I'm just throbbing from the waist down," I mumbled. "Where is Danny? My uh husband?"

She nodded. "Your friend went to get your hus-..." She was cut off by the door opening.

My eyes instantly rested on Danny. He didn't look too good. As he looked at me, without saying a word, my eyes locked with his. He had been crying. It was clear. His eyes were red and puffy...

What was wrong with me?

As he sat down in a chair next to the bed, he grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly as the nurse began clicking around in some of the machines I was hooked up to.

It was clear Danny had to take a deep breath. "I will be eventually," he mumbled.

I couldn't help but feel sorry. He was a complete mess and I couldn't help but feel terrible that I caused it.

My grip tightened in his hand. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "W-What's wrong with me?" My voice was shaking as tore my eyes from his.

"Jame... Just know there is nothing you could have done diff-..." he began, but was cut off by the door opening again.

"Hello Jamie," a female voice pulled me away from looking down at Danny's hand joined with mine. "I'm doctor Marshall."

I nodded at her. "Nice to meet you," I replied.

"Are you still in a lot of pain? Before we sedated you, you were not doing the best," she informed.

"I'm in a bit of pain. But it's just a bit worse than my normal period pain. Is that what caused it? My period? I haven't been in that much pain since I was like 14," I told her. Danny's hand tightened around mine.

I was always so glad that I went on birth control. It made my cramps go away and I was extremely thankful for that.

Dr. Marshall let out a sigh as she was handed a clipboard the nurse had just filled out. "Well," she began as she flipped past the first page and shook her head. "Unfortunately it wasn't your period that caused you the pain today."

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at her in question. I was more confused than ever. It was like I had tunnel vision, I wanted to look back at Danny, but all I saw was the doctor.

"After running some tests," she began. Danny's breathing became uneven next to me as his hand became extremely tight on mine. "Your blood sugar hit a low which is what made you pass out, but unfortunately you also miscarried at eight weeks, which is why you were bleeding so bad." 

My eyes widened as another bout of pain hit me. I tugged on Danny's hand.

"I couldn't have been pregnant!" I practically yelled. "There's no way!" I looked back at Danny who had tears rolling down his cheeks. "Tell her Danny! I would have known!!"

He couldn't even look at me as he pulled his hand from mine and tugged at his hair. "I-It's true. I saw her."

"Saw her? Saw who?!"

My breath got caught in my throat and my eyes widened as it dawned on me.