Zombieland

Zombieland - Chapter 5

"So you know how to ride girl?" Tina frowned at me. Getting on a horse was a lot easier in movies and TV shows than it actually was in real life. I had done my best to pull a pocahontas kind of gig, y'know, glide up gracefully onto the horse. Instead I'd ended up with both feet caught in the same foothold, lying on my back in the dirt next to the horse.

It looked down at me and neighed. I didn't speak horse, but I knew for a fact it was laughing at me.

"Yep," I rasped in reply, struggling immensely to untangle my feet.

"Sure you don't want any help?"

"Nah, good as gold," I exclaimed with relief as I finally managed to free my feet and collapse.

"Alright," Tina sighed, steering her horse towards the gates.

I jumped to my feet and looked the horse directly in the eye.

"Okay horse. Let's just make this as easy as we can for the both of us. So you cooperate, and I'll cooperate, and we can go spear some dead fuckers, feed you some carrots and hey! Everyone's happy, yeah?" The horse merely grunted. "I'm going to just have to interpret that as 'absoloutely,' seeing as I have nothing else to go on and am hoping that's exactly what you meant."

This time, I took it slower. And I mentally applauded myself when I was atop the horse, holding onto the reins, both feet in each holder. 

Heather passed me on her horse, and glanced my way, before kicking it in the side harder and sending the horse off into a gallop, past Tina and straight through the gates. 

"Show  off," Tina muttered.

Soon we were all travelling along the dirt road outside the site. It was the first time I'd really gotten a good look at the area. We passed a massive pile of rubble and burnt wood, the remnants of an old house.

"Is that the place of the people who used to live here?" I asked Tina, astonished.

"Mmmhmm. Mr and Mrs Bran, they were the ol' farmers of the place before it was overrun and their place went to shit. They were housin' us at the time, we had no choice but to get out of the house and burn it to the ground, full of walkers. Distressingly, had both of them in it. Were being eaten, but still," Tina explained.

"Afterwards, we didn't have nowhere else to go so Rick just moved us all further down the property into the horses ranch and runnin' area, and dug a giant hole surrounding the perimeter so the walkers would just fall in. Genius idea."

"Doesn't always keep them out though, does it?" Heather interrupted. She was a few metres in front of us, having decided to keep her horse at a walking pace and not a professional jockey one.

"It was an accident," Tina said firmly, "They must've just found a way to cross over the ditch. Besides, if your brother had been paying attention then..."

"Then what?" Heather responded in quiet, dangerous tone. "What would've happened Tina?"

Tina's jaw clenched and she remained silent.

I was on the fence with one.

"Walker, there," I said quickly managing to find a distraction, pointing my gun in its direction.

"Ya!" Heather yelled kicking the side of the horse and speeding off towards it. She pulled to a halt. The walker moaned and turned towards her, then began to limp as fast as it could carry its rotting self.

"Adiós hijo de puta muerto," Heather grinned, sending a bullet clean through its skull.

"What?" I murmured to Tina. She rolled her eyes.