Hostage

18

So, it's been a hot minute since I've laid eyes on Billie, I know what she's been up to because well, she's plastered everywhere, she's Billie Eilish. I've made some new friends but non of them care about me enough to listen to what I've gone through. They only care about themselves at the end of the day. My mom barely speaks to me anymore, pretty sure she would've fathered the truck crush me but ya know. It's been rough being on my own, considering what this years consisted of. Forgot to mention Billie was never caught, I knew she would've gotten away with it but it was worth a try. The cops told me there was no evidence to prove it, there was but they chose to over look it. I'm currently on my way to get my meds, mom thought I should be put on some medication after everything, just her way to keep me quiet.
Mom: I'll be in the other part of the mall, you go get ur stuff
Just like that she walks away
(Later that day)
I've had multiple breakdowns in a row, I hate myself and the people I love, I hate who I am and how I look so basically inside and out. I tried speaking to mom today about some stuff bothering me from when I went missing and all she did was tell me I'll be fine and that I'm just being dramatic. The one person in my life atm that I thought cared pretends like I don't exist now. Why do these people come into my life if their just gonna leave..I'm so over it. After crying and screaming into my pillow for hours I decided to take a shower because I feel like shit. As I leave my room me and my mom make eye contact.
Mom: what are u crying about now
Regan: nothing it's fine..
I just go into the bathroom and close the door, it's sad that no one cares isn't it? I feel gutted and in pieces, nothing to fix it with. I never thought I'd be here today, crying on my bathroom floor begging the world to care but here I am, doing just that. Nothing I do is enough for my mom, my friends and especially myself. I look above me, all my pills on the sink, they'll make everything stop.
Regan: fuck..
They're all better without me, they won't even notice, just take them, all.
Regan: I'm so sorry..
Without thinking or doubting myself I downed all my sleeping meds
Regan: maybe you'll hear me now