𝐌𝐀𝐃 ᵗᵃᵉᵍᵍᵘᵏ

xxi.

taehyung's breath was shallow. drool slowly dripping from his lips as he tried inhaling a full breath, lungs throbbing with each attempt, forcing his exhales to come out hoarsely, a few in rasping coughs. he held onto his elbows as his body quivered, chills crawling across his skin as if bugs were creeping, his legs barely having the strength to hold themselves up, his stomach twisting and turning inside of him, nausea clouding around him.

      he groaned when headlights shone in his eyes, temporarily blinding him, irises burning from the sudden contrast, rubbing at them frantically. the world swayed when he opened his eyes, the distorted image of his mother waving to him in the car making his head pulse agonizingly, the taste of bile at the back of his throat. taehyung pressed his fingers against his neck as he slinked into the car, his eyes staring at the steering wheel as his heartbeat palpitated rapidly against his fingertips.

      "how was it?" she turned on the radio, the loudness of the music ringing in taehyung's ears, making him immediately shut it off with a grunt, "did he help?"

      he only hummed, peering out of the window. the sounds around him felt distorted, not being able to differentiate which were real and which were figments of his imagination. he exhaled onto the window, watching as the glass fogged up. this time it was different. taehyung didn't feel nervous, he felt ready. prepared. excited, even. he knew what he had to do, and was going to complete his task no matter what. he wanted dr. jeon to be proud of him after all. he wanted to be praised, wanted to be told how good he was, wanted to be celebrated.

      "want to grab a treat? mcdonald's or something?" his mother focused on the road, not noticing her son peeking at the steering wheel, a red glimmer in his dazed eyes.

      taehyung glanced down at his hands, blinking slowly and mouth slightly agape as he stared at his fingers, feeling nausea return to him as they deformed in his eyes. his head was starting to hurt, and he didn't like the constant taste of vomit as the back of his throat. he clasped his hands tightly, wincing as he felt pain in his palms, untensing to see the red slowly seeping from the tiny crescent-shaped cuts. he shook his head gently, not feeling his lips pull into a closed-mouth grin as he recognized how close they were getting to his house.

      it's nearly time, taehyung.

      taehyung nodded, finding comfort in the disembodied voice.

      "now, your father is home and i think he just has something to as—" his mother didn't get to finish her sentence before taehyung yanked at the steering wheel, a second her scream piercing his eardrums before the car hit a curb, sending the vehicle flying into a tree, leaving behind an eerie hissing sounds.

      taehyung couldn't help but groan painfully as the airbag deflated, whimpering as his hands struggled to unclip his seatbelt. he tried opening his eyes, feeling his stomach jump at how the world around him was spinning relentlessly, discomfort rising inside of him. he pushed the car door open, his stomach emptying its contents onto the grass, throat burning from the throw up forcing itself out of him. he sat back in his chair, glancing at his mother and examining the branch puncturing the windshield, impaling her in the throat, her eyes wide and staring at him in fright, blood already gathering at the corners of her mouth.

      you're almost done, taehyung. the voice sounded again, its tone soothing taehyung's throbbing head. you can do it. finish your task.

      the brunet's breaths came out in short pants as he pushed himself out of the smoky car, wheezing bitterly as he stood, pressing his hand to his side and feeling his pulse in his fingertips, a tingling heat filling his abdomen. he pulled his hand off, staring at the blood now occupying his palm, looking down at his stained shirt. he staggered forward into the spinning world—at least most of the nausea was now gone.

      a relieved smile appeared on taehyung's face as his house came into view, continuing on his teetering walk up the driveway, helping himself up the stairway with the banister, lungs aching as his breathing pattern became erratic, struggling to take inhales. he pushed the door open, grunting when he tripped over his feet, landing face first in the entranceway. he stayed on the ground, the pain quickly becoming too much for him, his insides burning and screaming in agony, begging for him to stop. taehyung shook his head—he couldn't stop, he had to make dr. jeon proud.

      he heard his father call his mother's name from upstairs, raising his head in anticipation.

      that's right, taehyung. you're almost done.

       he crawled to the kitchen using his hands and knees, covering his mouth to prevent himself from whimpering in pain, inching his fingers onto the countertop to pull a knife from the knife holder, carefully sliding the blade into his pants, legs quivering as he forced himself to stand. his father came down the stairs, slowing and eyebrows knitting together at the sight of the opened door, gasping quietly at the smeared blood across the wooden flooring, a short yelp slipping from his at the sight of his son standing the kitchen, his head cast downwards and bangs covering his face.

      "taehyung.." he approached slowly, "where's your mother?" his frowned deepened when he saw the stain on taehyung's shirt, running to his son and holding him up, staring in disbelief at his deadpanned expression, "what's on your shirt?"

      "i t-think.. i think we got into an accident." taehyung's voice cracked, "m-mom's hurt.."

      taehyung's father wrapped his arms around his son, hugging him tightly as he cried, broken sobs muffled by his father's shirt. it was this moment taehyung loved; the rumbling of his bones, the buzz short-circuiting his neurons, the foretaste that left him starving. the good thing about sobbing was how easily you could hide your laughs. "i'm sorry, dad." he muttered, instantly pulling the knife from his pants, stabbing it into his father's gut, feeling the grip of his arms tighten around his shoulders, not stopping before thrusting the weapon in and out of the skin, hearing short inhales next to his ear.

      taehyung held tightly onto the handle as he heard his father takes his last breaths, taking notice of the sudden heaviness now slouching on him. he smiled, unable to hold back the giggles, a wave of happiness washing over him. he finished his task. taehyung pulled his father's arms off his shoulders, the smile still plastered to his face as he gently nudged his father, watching as he fell to the ground dully, pleased with his work.

      he raised his eyes, noticing the tall figure leaning against the doorframe leading into their kitchen. "i did it.." taehyung's voice was shaky as he spoke, "i finished my task.. aren't you proud of me, dr. jeon?"

      the therapist nodded, fuchsia bangs falling over his eyes as his lips pulling into a grin.

          


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i've been putting off writing this chapter for so long omg