A Soul For Sale Or Rent

I'd Still Be Where I Started

After they had worked for themselves for the rest of the lunch break, they quietly packed their things. Billie resisted the urge to look at Brian. She didn't know what to say or do. She wanted to thank him, but she didn't know how. That's why she kept quiet and started to walk away without another word.

"Willow?" Billie instinctively flinched when she heard her proper name. It was very rare that something good happened after that, but how should Brian know? He never talked to her. She took a deep breath and forced herself to stay calm and turned around. "Y-yes?"

Brian noticed her more alert attitude and became a bit weary. "I just wanted to know when we can continue working? We still have a lot to do. I'd like to get it done as soon as possible."

Billie looked down. Of course he wanted to spend as little time as possible having to work with her. No one really wanted to be around her, so she wasn't surprised, but it still hurt. She shrugged. "I-I don't know.. maybe tomorrow during lunch?" Brian shrugged and sighed. "Lunch? Well.. okay." Billie could tell he wasn't really happy with her answer and it made her even more nervous than she already was.

But before she could offer him another time to work together, he turned around and walked away, leaving her standing there completely confused. She couldn't think clearly. He made her feel two things at once and she didn't know how to handle that.

Billie stood there at a loss, before she shook her head a little and continued walking away from the table she had just been sitting on. She only had a few more lessons to attend before she had to go home, neither of which she was really looking forward to. But there was nothing she could do, so she took her father's advice to 'stop whining and suck it up'. It was something she had perfected over the years and it was exactly what she did.

The hours to the next morning passed agonisingly slow and way too fast at the same time. Billie got up early as always and quickly got dressed before taking her backpack and quietly sneaking out of the door. Because it was summer, the sun had already been up for a couple of hours and it wasn't that cold anymore. Billie tightly clutched her schoolbag in one hand and her sketchbook in the other as she hurried down the morning streets of London to her school.

Lucky for her, the janitor knew she was coming and left the gates unlocked so Billie could sit down on the steps in front of the entrance door. That's what she did almost every morning, even in winter or when it was raining. She much preferred the cold stone steps over the wooden chairs in her house. It was much more peaceful in front of the old, majestic building and the people who occasionally dared to talk to her made her much less anxious than the people in her house would.

With a quiet sigh, Billie placed her backpack on the stairs and sat down next to it. She took a sip from the water bottle she had brought and mentally chastised herself for not bringing an apple or something alike. But she didn't dare to go into the kitchen that morning, just like pretty much every other day. It was only very rarely that she ate something for breakfast, most of the time she somehow managed to get by until lunch.

But sometimes, the janitor, Mr Williams, came by, just like this morning. "Hey Billie," he greeted her, which made her smile timidly. "Good morning, Mr Williams. How are you?" The janitor returned the smile. He was one of the few people Billie could talk to like a normal person, he had always been friendly to her. "I'm good, Billie. And you? Are you all right?" She looked down and shrugged. "As all right as always, Mr Williams."

The man nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that, Billie. Have you eaten today?" He looked in the small bag he carried with him and pulled out an apple and a sandwich wrapped in foil. "I haven't, Mr Williams... I couldn't today." The janitor nodded, feeling sorry for the young woman. "Here, love." He held out the apple and sandwich for her. Billie smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you Mr Williams." He did that from time to time. Whenever he had enough time in the morning, he would prepare a little breakfast for Billie. "It's no problem, dear. Enjoy. I have to go now, but I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Billie smiled at him one more and mumbled a thank you, before he turned around and walked away, continuing with his daily tasks. Billie devoured the small sandwich and the apple, feeling the pangs of hunger die away slowly. She swallowed the last bits of her breakfast and patted her stomach. She really wasn't used to eating in the mornings.

When she glanced at the big clock over the entrance, Billie realised that there was still half an hour before she was allowed to go inside to her first class. So she decided to open her sketchbook and continue her drawing of Brian, the one she had started in Physics class.

She was completely in her own world, having a shy smile on her face as she added more and more lines to the figurine on the paper. Billie didn't notice that more people were arriving until she was completely surrounded by fellow students. Once she looked up from her sketchbook and was confronted with the curious stares she got, like every morning, she couldn't focus anymore and got up, closing her sketchbook to hide her drawing.

She swallowed and only dared to meet a few eyes while walking to a quieter area of the school yard, leaning against the wall. Billie crossed her arms in front of her and stared at the ground. She could see feet wandering around her, belonging to people who probably looked at her like a freak. However, one pair of feet stopped in front of her and didn't move.

Billie swallowed and slowly lifted her head. She was nervous to see who she was facing. The boy who was standing in front of her turned out to be Brian, smiling shyly at her. "Hey, uhm, I just wanted to know if we're still working on the project during lunch?" She stood up straight and brushed down her skirt. "Uh-Uhm.. yes, of course." Billie shortly met his eyes and dared to smile a bit before focussing her attention on the pebbles on the ground. "Great!" Brian sounded genuinely happy, which confused Billie, but she didn't say anything. "I'll see you later then, Willow." The young woman flinched a little and shrunk against the wall when Brian called her by her full name again, mumbling a quiet "See you". 

The hours until lunch passed surprisingly quickly, even Physics. This day, Billie was not as reluctant to leave the art room when the bell for lunch rang. She quickly packed up her things and hurried to the cafeteria, buying herself some lunch before she stood aside and let her eyes wander over the students, trying to spot Brian in the mass of students.

"Willow!" She spun around quickly at the sound of the voice, almost dropping her tray with the food. She stabilised herself and spotted Brian, sitting alone at a table with a sandwich in his hands. Billie gulped and slowly walked over to him, sitting down at the other end of the table.

She smiled timidly at him, getting a little unsettled when he looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. The smile faded from her face and she looked down on her tray, starting to eat quietly, hoping not to attract any attention.

When Billie swallowed the last of her food, she glanced at Brian again, only to find him looking at her already. "Willow?" Billie gulped and timidly looked at Brian. "Y-yes?" He patted the table next to him. "If you sit here, we can work much better." Billie nodded and slowly pushed her things closer to Brian and sat down next to him on the bench. He smiled a little at her and took out his worksheets. Billie did the same, but she was much less relaxed than he was. The fact that he kept calling her Willow made her more nervous than she wanted to admit, but she didn't dare to make him call her Billie. She felt that she didn't know him enough, which is why she sat next to him in silence, only occasionally acknowledging him when she had a question.

I just wanted to let you know that even after I published the chapters, I'll probably go back and edit them, maybe add little things, so if you see something that doesn't quite make sense to you, that's probably why. And I will update once a week most likely, but if I can, I'll try to post more than that. I hope you're enjoying this story, and thank you guys so much for your feedback on the other chapters!