Deciding My Direction (on hold to edit)

Hold On

When I climbed into my window later, I wasn't even thinking of Dad and Kesslan. I kept thinking of how Niall and I danced in the snow while he sang to me. I kept thinking of how he sang a song about falling in love with me.

And I kept thinking it could never happen again. He deserved a girl to do that for, one that wasn't as ruined as I am. He deserved a beautiful girl, a strong girl. A girl that isn't me.

"And where the fuck have you been?" Dad snarled behind me, the window of my bedroom slamming shut as I fell out of it and into my room. I was frozen. I didn't think he'd be awake so early in the morning. I never thought he would be. I never even thought at alll. 

I was shaking, my eyes wide. I had landed on my wrist again, the pain shooting through my arm in waves. It needed a brace this time. He moved forward one step, my head screaming for me to move. I couldn't. I couldn't move.

"I asked you a question."

"I was working." I lied horribly, my words falling on top of each other.

"Liar. I went to the diner. They mentioned you haven't been there in days. You're fired."

"Library."

"Went there too. Get up." 

I stood up slowly, biting the inside of my lip rougly so I wouldn't scream. His large hand clamped over my arm, tugging me forward and getting in my face with his top lip curled back. My heart was being like crazy, my eyes wide and panic settling into me.

"What gives you the right to lie to me and sneak around?" He whispered harshly, his brown eyes quinting at me. I couldn't talk. I was completely frozen. "Who gives you the permission to leave the house? Who let you skip out on everything you were supposed to do tonight?" 

"N-no one.. I.. I'm sorry..." I mumbled foolishly, knowing that wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted silence.

The hand swiping across my face harshly reminded me of that. "Shut the hell up. Did I give you permission to speak?" 

I shook my head, my eyes shut and facing the ground. He forcefully shifted my chin up so I was looking at him, my eyes suddenly wide. He was pissed. I had never seen him so angry in my entire life. He looked almost calm but I knew he was far from it.

"Kesslan is waiting for you." Dads smirk was huge, his arms crossing in front of him and letting go of my arm. I wanted to scream and shake my head, shove him away and dive back out the window. I wanted to run to Louis and Niall and beg them to let me go on tour with them. 

"I can't." I whimpered, slamming my eyes shut.

"Oh? Why do you think you can say no?" 

"I'm... I'm pregnant..." 

~~**~~

 Niall's POV

"Why hasn't she called?" I whined, huffing and tossing my phone onto the table.

"She'll call. Don't worry." Lou smiled, his hand landing on my shoulder. 

"But it's been a week." 

"She could be busy." He reassured me. I looked up at him, seeing his eyes filled with worry too.

"You're worried. Why are you worried? What's worrying you?" I rushed, my eyebrows knitting together.

"Nothing Nialler. Just tour stress." He smiled, his hand tightening on my shoulder for a moment before it dropping away from me.

 "But-"

"No buts. It isn't a big deal, I swear. We have an off day tomorrow and we get to relax all day and I'll be stressfreeeee." 

"But worry is different than stress." I interrupted, pouting lightly.