A New Light In Life

Hug

~~Finn POV~~

I was waiting for them to make fun of me. People always make fun of me or make weird faces at me when I tell them that I don't know what it feels like to feel hungry, or they tell me that I am lying since I had said before that "I am hungry", but what am I supposed to say? "My stomach hurts because I have not eaten, so I need to eat"? that would sound weird, so I just say that "I am hungry". I sometimes feel so out of the ordinary and abstain from saying things or doing others, but that doesn't matter anymore.

I don't know them, nor do they know me. No one would care how I act or what I do now. No one. I was abandoned for a reason. This left a big hole in me, but at the same time, it was freeing. I don't need to care if I act weird. Fuck being normal, fuck being someone that someone would like. I will just wait until the time arrives, or I may even rush the date, who knows.

"Finn, you here with me?" I heard a voice over my thoughts but couldn't understand what it said. 

"...what?" I asked in the direction of the voice. I think that was Malek? It needs to be since he was the only one in that direction.

"I am asking if you are here with me?" He said again, and this time I could understand what he said, but couldn't comprehend it.

"If I am not here then where would I be?" I have not moved, have I? I looked at my surroundings, and I was still sitting at the table.

"You are indeed here in person, but we had been calling you for a while, but you didn't respond. You zoned out." 

Well, that explains it. Right, Evan left. He would want an apology for me not enjoying the food? Ummm.

I stood up from the table and went in the direction that Evan left. He was washing the dishes, but it seemed like he was lost in his own world. What should I say? I am not very good at these things.  

~~Evan POV~~

What the F*ck is happening to me?! Since when did I begin to have these expectations towards people? 

Wow, I did change. I was so used to feeling and being alive since I arrived here that I acted like a child since the new kid didn't say that my food was delicious. 

Ahhhh~ First it was my voice and now my cooking. In the past, because I developed early and living on the slumps didn't help me. My mother would sell me to anyone that would pay her, and unfortunately, I was popular for my physical appearance but mainly for my voice. There was a time that I refused to say anything but that only caused me to be made to talk. It was useless anything that I did even at some point I tried to cut my vocal cords, but that cost me to be constantly drugged. Drugs, f*ck, drugs, get f*cked, more drugs, and even more f*cking. I even thank whatever that was holy that I  almost OD'ed and whomever I was f*cking or f*cking me called an ambulance. With that, I was able to get out of that place and arrive here.

During the first months here I battled not only the abstinence symptoms from the drugs but also sex. I felt no more than just a f*ck toy that was running out of batteries if I didn't have drugs in my system or I was f*cking someone or getting f*cked. Thanks to the guys I was able to feel more like a human being and experiment with feeling things again, but it seems like I just substituted f*cking with cooking which is the only thing that I can do well since I arrived here. Ahhhh~ I need to tell Malek before this gets out of control. I don't want to be like I used to be. I don't even want to think about that. 

Out of a sudden, I felt a small warm pair of arms surrounding my waist. I looked at that pair of small hands that were holding me strongly. It was like the bubble that I was on suddenly burst. I am not the only one broken here. I don't know why this kid didn't feel good about food. Wake up you are not the only one that had a crappy past.

"Evan" A small voice said from behind me.

"I like fruits, vegetables, pasta, cheesy food, and crunchy waffles, and I hate the texture of dehydrated marshmallows and cooked onion. Any other food I might not pay much attention to it" I tried to take those small hands into mine, but he let go of me, so I turned around to look at him.

"You nor I am wrong in here. I have my reasons for not being particularly fond of food, and you have your reasons as to why making food is so important to you. Shutting yourself out of others will not resolve anything. If you have something to tell me or write to me you can say so as I said to you what I like and what I don't like to eat. You can say to me clearly what you want from me. I don't know If you don't tell me, please be clear. I will not understand otherwise."

No one had ever told me something like that to me. For me was either you bent to the other people or they bend to you. 

"...Hug?" I said as I extended my hands toward him. He looked like he was contemplating something but he still nodded at the end.

"This is an exception. I don't like to be touched most of the time" He said as he came near me, and I enveloped him in my arms. In the beginning, he just stood there, but then he also hugged me lightly. He was warm and soft without any artificial smell. He in my arms at that moment became my world.