Shards of Your Reflection - Tsukishima x Reader (Angst)

5. Empty

"I made you a bento this morning, Tsukishima."

You smiled as you gave him the pink and white bento dotted with mini strawberries of different gradients of red. Tsukishima blushed, taking the cute box and removing its lid to reveal the Osamu-quality onigiri, fluffy Japanese omelets, stir-fried vegetables, panko-breaded chicken, and sliced strawberries.

"Here," Tsukishima simply stated, his face completely flushed in a deep red hue.

He handed a slice of strawberry shortcake to you, as both of your faces blushed a shade darker from before. Your mouth watered at the delicious, reminiscing scent of the dessert.

"(Y/n), don't eat so much or you'll get fatter," Tsukishima teased, jabbing at your stomach.

You tensed at that word.

'Fatter.'

Your stomach coiled tightly, as a colossal wave of nausea overwhelmed your senses. The cake in your mouth suddenly tasted sickeningly sweet, the morning breakfast further crawling its way up your gut. With shaky breathes, you clenched your fist, scraping your pale, clammy palms with your nails.

You were exposed, hyper aware of the blubber pocketed underneath your belly and your face. It was fattening.

'(Y/n), you are such a pig.'

'It's disgusting, just look at you!'

'Why is Tsukishima dating someone so fat?'

You were drowning in the ocean of insecurities and self-hatred you created; drowning because of the weight of your expectations; drowning because of the burden of your fat.

You couldn't breathe. Not underneath the sea of panic, you couldn't.

It was too much, and it was too late to reach the surface.

"(Y/n)."

Coughing, you gasped for breath desperately, realizing the tears already smudged against you face.

You weakly tried to laugh the tension off.

"(Y/n)..."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"(Y/n), are you okay?"

"It's... n-nothing. I'm fine."

"(Y/n), it's okay to talk to-"

"I need to use the restroom."

You gritted your teeth, holding your sides tightly, as the insecurities and loathing of your self-image escalated.

Shutting the stall in the women's restroom close, you vomited the burdens into the toilet bowl. The breakfast, the cake, the insecurities, all of which vanished almost suddenly.

Strangely, it was relieving to be empty inside.