The Institute- Dust darkened

Chapter 14: Facets of fondness

“Be quick.” Jordan is leaned leisurely against the back of his seat, one hand propped up against the steering wheel, the other resting on the edge of my seat. I want to take hold of it, but I’m scared that he’ll pull away, that he’ll reject me. I don’t know why but the fact that he admitted to liking me has only intensified my fear of driving him away. I give him a tiny smile and slip out of the car, the soft fabric of my dress trailing over my skin. The dress is wonderful- more beautiful than everything that I have ever owned, with its soft fabric and flowing cut. It hugs my body perfectly, as if it were made for me, and when I slipped out of the bathroom wearing it, Jordan had looked at me as if I were the most beautiful and admirable creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. As I rush up the narrow path to our doorway I shudder with equal parts of pleasure and dread- an extremely good-looking man is sitting in my driveway, in a car that probably costs more than my entire house plus furniture, waiting for me to gather my things simply because he likes me. On the other hand a question bugs me incessantly- why would Jordan choose me, from all the other seemingly perfect girls in the institute? What about me is it that would make me stand out among all of them? And what does he expect of me? Does he want me to become a perfect institute girl like all the others, or does he want me to stay my clumsy, unprofessional self? I sigh with exasperation just as I reach the steps that lead up to our door- before it was hard to understand Jordan, frustrating but acceptable- I didn’t have a pressing need to have to understand him fully. Now, trying to adapt to him is my new number one priority. But how can you adapt to something that seems to constantly be changing?

I push my keys in the lock just as the door is ripped open from the other side.

“Where have you been?!” Carter jells, nearly ripping the door out of the hinges in a flash of anger.

“I… I…” I stutter, shrinking away from him. I knew he would be angry, but this is worse than anything I had ever imagined.

“I was up all night trying to reach you! Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? You gone and Kayla having disappeared from daycare, I’ve been going insane here!” Carter jells, flinging his arms up in the air in exasperation. I bite my lips and cross my arms before my chest as if to shield myself from his harsh words.

“Carter, look, I…” I stammer, feeling guilty for having used Carter’s trust like this and embarrassed, because this whole scene is playing out before Jordan’s calculating eyes.

“Oh shut up.” Carter says, looking at me with the kind of expression you would give a dog that had just pooped on your favorite carpet. He grabs my arm and pulls me roughly into the house, ignoring my complaints and flings me into the empty hallway. I stumble and trip on the carpet, falling to the floor with a harsh thump. I feel the skin on my hands grazing off as they scrape across the carpet, and tears well up in my eyes. Carter looms up over me and for the first time in my life, I am genuinely scared of my brother.

“Carter, please, let me explain.” My voice is whiny and pathetic to my own ears, and I can see the anger in Carter’s face intensify.

“Where is Kayla?” He demands, still towering above me. I scramble to my feet and wipe my eyes hastily, not wanting his to see that he has made me cry.

“She’s at daycare.” My voice is hollow and blunt, the way it always is when I’m about to cry. I cross my arms in front of my chest and stand well away from carter. Now that the initial shock has passed, other feelings are beginning to set in. I’m angry at Carter for treating me this way- there is nothing in the world I could do to him that gives him the right to fling me around like this. I’m his sister, we’re family. We’re supposed to be there for each other, not treat each other like garbage. Carter steps closer to me, a menacing look on his face, but this time I do not back away.