Starlight | completed

Chapter 35 | proud

❝He is not the cowering fearful boy from two years ago❞

Chapter 35 | proud

The world is floating around him, fleeting and transient, life is so fleeting. And Luce is just so slow, so slow. Everything around him runs it's course, fast and furious. And he lingers here, slow, and unsteady. If only he could run with the rest of them, stretch his hands out towards the blue sky and reminisce in his pure joy.

Then maybe he could steady himself. It's been a few days without Aera's presence surrounding him, and he feels unsteady on his feet. He runs a hand through this hair, and pulls his shirt roughly off, throwing on a simple hoodie he heads down the stairs. "Ma, I'm going out" he calls.

He needs to take a run, clear his head, the cold air that bites around him will do him some good. "Luce, help your brother first" his mother calls out, and he pauses. An expression of almost fear crosses his face, and he swallows. He'll be okay, he's almost eighteen, it's damn time he learned to take care of himself.

"Alright, Ma" he replies, and trudges through the rooms of his house. His brother is finally moving out. But he doesn't want to go help his brother, the last time they'd talked hadn't ended so well. At least last time Aera had been there to take care of him, as of the moment he had no one.

No, no.

No, that wasn't true. He knew if he really needed her, he could always go to her. But he didn't want to, he wanted to give her the space and time she so desperately craved. It was odd not being able to talk to her, yet still seeing her in the halls of the school. She would always flash him a soft smile, her eyes crinkling in the coroners.

And something in Luce would just ache.

But he'd smile back, his expression never betraying the torment he felt inside. She'd looked reassured, to know he wasn't crumbling without her. She'd thought he could stand on his own two feet, and he didn't know if he could. He was still struggling to do so.

"Hey Luce" his brother said suddenly appearing, and Luce visibly flinched. Swallowing he nodded at him, every damn time he saw his brother. All his mind would do is flash back to when, to when he would attack him without a care. The first few times, Luce would just curl up in a ball, and sob.

But somewhere along the way, he'd given up on that too. He would laugh as his brother insulted him, he would smile as he punched him. And the blood that would seep from his arms, he would wipe onto his brothers jeans. As if that made him stronger, when in reality he was nothing but weak.

He wasn't that person anymore, the boy who used to adore his brother's every action had died the night he'd laid a hand on Luce. He wasn't a stupid fifteen year old boy anymore, it is odd how much he could have changed in the past two years. But at times life does that to you, it changes you.

"Hand me my shirt will you?" his brother drawled out, his happy tone morbid to Luce's words. Nodding quickly, he handed the shirt to him. He was leaving today, he'd finally found a job and he was leaving. Luce reassured himself once more. Maybe he'd leave his life forever, this Luce did not know. He did not know.

"Have you found a nice girl that you like?" his brother asked from the corner trying to make light conversation, and Luce visibly flinched once more. The day, the day he had told his family that he liked both genders, they'd been supporting. At least his parents had been, his brother however was utterly disgusted. That was the first time he had hit Luce.

"You know Aera?" he asked, and his brother quickly nodded. He turned around to look at Luce, and the expression on his face was one of utter relief. "She's not that pretty, you could do better man" his brother mused, then he stood up and patted Luce on the shoulder.