Starlight | completed

Chapter 30 | unease

❝Why did he feel as if he was about to lose everything?❞

Chapter 30 | unease

He's a wreck without her, he doesn't know what to do. The wind is blowing across the back, the grass is vivid. He's a wreck without her, he needs her to stay. He wishes for her to stay. The air is crisp, and the faint scent of water is tastable on his tongue. There is a lake near the school and the wind has been blowing mists of water near him day by day.

He focuses his eyesight straight onto Aera's, she has a unreadable expression on her face. He wishes, more than anything, that he could hear her thoughts. But for once in his life he cannot read the emotions flitting across her small face. Their is only one emotion that's visible, that's the only one he can read.

Unease.

He swallowed, he knew he had nothing to lose at this point. How could he lose something that was a never his to begin with? He couldn't. So why did he feel as if he was about to lose everything? Every night his mind used to run around her, his thoughts filled with her and only her. She was fire, electric, but again she wasn't his.

So why did he still feel as if he was losing?

He wanted to drown once again, let his heartbeat hear the waters around him. He wanted to surround himself with her, only her. His fingernails dug into his fingers so hard that he feared he would draw flood. Aera still hadn't spoke, she seemed to be the one at a loss for words now.

"D-Do you fe-feel the sam-same?" he said wincing as his voice came out the opposite of how he wanted it. He sounded weak, meek, his stuttering and tone making him sound as if he was about to lose everything once again. There it was that word again, lose. Aera frowned, her head titled and she gazed at Luce. She mumbled something, but it was so low that Luce couldn't catch it.

He leaned forward, desperate to heart her alluring voice. "What was that?" he asked, his voice much more steady now. He could already see it coming, his rejection. A few mere words would fall from her rosy lips and they would crush his world. If he could only hear those words and be done with it.

He knew there was a desperate glint of hope in his eyes, and Aera seemed to see it too as she peered at him. She gently bit her lip, and a look of unease crossed her face once again. Luce slowly raised a eyebrow, hoping she would just say it already. Why make him wait so long?

When her voice finally came out it was raspy and low, "I-I don't love you, at least n-not like that. Just a-as a friend" she finally said, there was something in her tone, that Luce still couldn't recognize.

He swallowed, it had been expected but it stung all the same. He nodded, and feebly kicked a pebble near him. "I'll be on my way then" he mumbled, and sighed in relief. At least his voice had come out as he willed it to this time, he did sound heartbroken. But it wasn't as bad.

Aera frowned, and reaching forward suddenly grasped his face in her slender fingers. Luce flinched, "Wha-What are you doing?" he asked, she kept her hands steady on his face. Her amber eyes were peering into hers, a look of utter confusion in her eyes. What was happening?

"I don't not love you, but I don't love you either" she suddenly mumbled absentmindedly, and Luce visibly flinched. This time he pushed her back, and peered down at her. A bit frantic.

"What are you even saying?" he questioned desperately. Clinging to any semblance of hope. Aera frowned, as if suddenly realizing Luce was in front of her still. She wrung her slender fingers together, and fidgeted as if uncomfortable.