Starlight | completed

Chapter 29 | questions & answers

❝How could he fix something that wasn't his? That he did not know.❞

Chapter 29 | questions & answers

He's spent everything, his love, his life, everything. All for what? Strangers and people he doesn't recognize. All he knows, all he knows that is worthwhile, is that nothing is worth this pain. He smiles another smile at the boy next to him, his heart crumbling in on itself.

A broken heart was all that was left, and he could not figure out how to fix all the cracks. Aera had taken the pieces with her, his heart belonged to her. How could he fix something that wasn't his? That he did not know. That he would never know.

His dark eyes drifted towards the darkening sky, and how he wished he was nothing but a mere bird. Flying in the skies, the clouds under his delicate feet. Life would be simpler than, there would be no type of pain. Nothing remotely close to heartbreak. He smiled bitterly, he was not a bird.

He was Luce Nova, and he was sick of being Luce Nova. Because Luce Nova never got the girl, he never got the happy ever after, or the simple mere feeling of being truly happy. He was drowning once again, and this time the water is dark and cold, both at the same time.

They don't cancel each other, and he is drowning in the dark, cold water. Wishing for nothing more than to burn. Like a fire, that could never be burned out. He frowns, and slips his hands into his jacket pocket. He will be okay, he can stand on his own.

He can do it all, his fingers tighten in his pockets and he breathes in the crisp air. He loves himself, this much he knows. But at times, he fears he loves Aera more than he could ever love himself. And that simply isn't sufficient, or well. He needs to get a grip.

He does get a grip, someone's hand grips onto his shoulder. Startled he turns around softly, and comes face to face with Aera's shining face. There is something more sad to her today, her eyes aren't as bright. Her lips naturally curve down, and she looks detached from everything.

"Hello" he whispers, everything around him fading as he momentarily disappears from the world around him. She tilts her head to the side, an feature that Luce had always found enchanting. And surprisingly, for all her dejected expression, she smiles at him.

"Hello" she whispers back. There's a odd sort of tension between them, Luce feels it surrounding the air around him and he does not know what to do with it. He tries not to twitch, he fidgets too much when he's nervous. But Aera's in front of him, and he doesn't know how to be anything other than who he is.

"I-Is there a problem?" he asked politely, and Aera's brow furrows. The expression on her face is one Luce recognizes easily, it's confusion. But what is it that she could be confused about? She bits onto her bottom lip gently, looking utterly lost.

Luce clears his throat, and frowning she looks up at him. "I have a question?" she asks, her sentence sounding like a question as well. Luce doesn't know what to make of it, what could it possibly be? It had to be important too, because he'd asked Aera for them to not be friends anymore.

So what was it?

"What is it?" he asked, and Aera trembled a bit. A question was dancing in her pretty amber eyes but she looked very very hesitant to let it out into the world. He flashed her what he hoped was a comforting smile, but it only served to add even more to her confusion.

"Yes?" he prompted again, after a long and unbearable silence. Aera still looked hesitant, but there was steel clear determination in her eyes now. Squaring back her delicately crafted shoulders she looked Luce straight in the eye. Luce resisted the urge to roll his eyes, he knew he had asked her not be friends anymore but what did she have to be strong about?

It was just him, she didn't have to put of a front with him. But it seemed in this moment she was doing exactly that. "Did you write those letters?" she asked, and there was something hard in her eyes. It was a dare. Daring him not to lie to her face.

Luce choked on the air around him, and his mouth dropped open, he looked a bit like a gaping fish in this position. He opened his mouth but nothing came out for he was at a loss for words. Aera seemed to take that as offensive, she glared. "Did you?"

He didn't know what to say, he'd loved her for so long. But not once had she ever suspected him of anything, Luce was darn good at hiding his feelings. He'd been good for so long, how could he have gone and slipped up now? He knew without a doubt that it was Will who had told her.

He had never thought of telling her, not once because Luce Nova was not the type of person who ever went for it. He preferred to just let life pass him by, maybe that was what made him unhappy and miserable. But if there was one thing he was not, it was courageous.

He was over ridden with fear, and the fear of losing Aera had been much too high for him to even contemplate ever telling her. So suffice to say, he was not whatsoever prepared for this situation. He had two options here, he could either lie through his teeth or he could just tell her the truth.

He knew Aera hated liars though, and he didn't love lying either. Staring down at her dainty face he sighed. What did he have to lose anymore? He had already lost her. What use was lying and denying what had always been so clear? He had written those letters, and at least this way Will couldn't take his words from him anymore.

"Yes, y-yes I wrote the letters. And well, I suppose I love you as well."

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yawn. i'm exhausted.