Absquatulate- To leave without saying goodbye

10

It has been three months since the two guys approached me.

It's been two months, that both of them have tried to get me to remember. The blonde guy, Draco supposedly was my twin brother, while Miles was my boyfriend. It is quite horrifying to me, not knowing them, while they know me better than I do myself. Sometimes I stare at the tattoo on my wrist. Draco does too, it seems to be the only proof to me, that there is at least a little bit of truth in what they said.

It's been five months now. I was able to hear screams form the basement. I didn't like it, but I knew damn well, that both of the boys wouldn't care about me being uncomfortable about that. My apparent brother looked really sick. His skin is colored an unhealthy shade of white, with dark circles around his eyes. I can hear him scream and cry too and sometimes I hear him talking to the old me. He imagines her. He is talking to his imaginary sister. It scares me.

It's been seven months now, I finally figured out what they were doing in the basement. They have been torturing prisoners from the muggle world, then obliviating them and testing a potion, they have been trying to create, on them. They wanted to find a potion to restore my memory.

Miles has left the manor today. It was my fault. He showed me a garden. It was quite beautiful, and the moon was illuminating it pretty too, but he has told me stories about us and I told him, that it sounded quite pathetic, that he ever loved a girl who was a death eater and obsessed with protecting her little brother like crazy. I guess it was harsh, I mean I don't know the Celestia, both of the boys seem to love so much, but she seems to be way too selfless and I don't like her a lot.

It's been 11 months now. Draco still hasn't found a cure. Yet I don't really know if it would be a cure or a curse, if he ever found it.

It's been exactly a year now. I only disappoint Draco, he brought me to places we apparently used to love as kids, but I obviously didn't remember neither the memories nor the places. I hate to look at him these days. Earlier in the year it wasn't as painful to see him struggle, but he has been struggling more and more recently.

It's been a year and a month now. Today is my, our, birthday. I only feel like a burden. I know I can't help Draco. It is destroying him, but nothing seems to make him stop. I am starting to think of a solution, that makes our boths life less of a hell.

Draco wanted to visit Hogwarts, so he could talk to the new potions professor and I agreed to coming with him. Once we arrived, we parted ways.

Youtube: Experience - Ludovico Einaudi || [ 30 Minutes ] from Lizz's (Minute: 5:44; please listen to this now, while reading)

I had been feeling nothing but miserable ever since the day, both the boys had found me. No one wanted this Celestia. Everyone yearned for the old Celestia and wanted her back. I was a complete and utter disappointment. I looked out of a window in Hogwarts and that was when I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Draco's POV:

We had been discussing the last ingredient for the potion for over three months now and today, we finally got to test it. The last ingredient I wanted to try was Vela-hair. I obliviated the guy who I had been torturing this time and then forced the potion down his throat. The calm guy, due to the obliviation now started screaming again for me to please spear him. I had found a cure. I could cure my sister. The potions professor and I quickly jumped and screamed around the room. I finally run out of the room, tears of joy running down my cheeks trying to find her.

Celestia's POV:

I stood at the exact same dock they had found me. A single tear finding its way out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't bear seeing him so disappointed and losing himself. He would be better off without this version of his sister and well I wouldn't have to deal with this terrible life anymore. I had written a note a while ago when I had already thought of killing myself. I carried it around everywhere and now it would come in handy. I didn't just want to die without telling Draco why, but I was sure he'd understand. So, I laid the note on the ground and put a stone on it. You could still see it and yet it wouldn't fly away. I pull out the bottle of poison I had found at Malfoy Manor and swallowed it. Facing my back to the lake I then let my body fall back into the ice-cold water. In just a few seconds my vision got blurry and then it got dark.

Draco's POV:

I couldn't find her and started to panic, my intuition told me to go to the lake, so I ran there. I was completely out of breath when I arrived there, but couldn't find anyone. I just saw a Note on the ground. I completely ignored it for now looking around to find her, when finally I saw a womanly body drift on the surface of the water. I dove into the lake with the last bit of hope in me, that she isn't dead just yet. I pull her out and that was when I realized, her lips were blue and there was some sort of green foam coming out of her mouth. I screamed and cried my heart out and tried reading the note, that I shakily held in my hand.

Dear Draco,

I know how much you miss your sister. I am not her and I will never be anymore. I know you understand why I left. I can't bear to see you in so much pain. Even though we are just strangers, I can tell you are deeply hurt. I hope you will find peace and please don't give up just yet. You are so much stronger than me and I hope one day, we will see each other again. Maybe my memories will be there again, once I am up there somewhere.

Please find it in your heart to forgive me and your sister, for leaving you.

Out of the things you've told me about her, she loves you, more than words can describe, but she couldn't make it and so can't I.

Love,

El

-The name Celestia comes from the Latin 'caelestis', meaning 'heavenly'. In Greek mythology Celesta is the sister of Hades.