Forget me- Not [ Oh Sehun FF ]

피튜니아 -Petunias

Chapter Two

"You told us you were getting better."

Sehun closes his eyes and presses his temple to the cool glass window to try and avoid this conversation while they're driving home. His father's voice doesn't sound concerned, but rather angry. Angry because Sehun lied to them. Angry because he doesn't understand- and his father likes to know everything -likes everything to be in check. Well, Sehun is anything but 'in check'.

"Sehun. Listen," his mother's high voice orders him softly. He can tell she's turned in her seat looking at him even with his eyes closed. He's adamant about not talking about this, though. About not talking about himself. It's too hard. It's not worth it. So, he keeps his eyes shut and rolls his forehead further against the glass, tuning out the drone of his father's voice.

Not now, he thinks, not ever.

"Pay attention when I'm talking, boy!" his father's voice booms loudly, making his ears ring in the otherwise silent car.

He opens his eyes in time to see his mother hand reach across to slap his father's shoulder and scold, “Don't yell, honey. They told us not to yell."

"How can I not yell? The boy's not listening to a word I say," his father vents frustratedly, making the car take a rather sharp turn at an intersection.

"Because you're yelling," his mother snaps back, her voice rising.

Sehun squeezes his eyes shut, again, and curls up closer to the window. It's his fault they're fighting. It's always his fault-and it doesn't have to be. If only they could leave him alone, let him handle things on his own instead of always prying, always stepping in, then maybe it would be different.

They would do so much better without him.

"I say we just send him to that clinic instead of taking him to a therapist," his father grumbles.

"We're not doing that," his mother insists, "We're going to work this out as a family. We need to communicate- and that doesn't involve yelling."

"Well that's the only way he pays attention!"

“Are you kidding me? He shuts down!"

Sehun wishes he could disappear, to bolt out of this trap of a vehicle. That's what it is, a trap. There's nowhere out. He has to sit here and listen. He has to sit here and take the blame. That's why they're doing this in the car. He can't run. He can't hide. He has to sit here and recognize that he's the reason for all of their problems. He's the reason for everyone's problems. He's a disease. Toxic. A human ticking-time-bomb.

All my fault. He thinks. What's wrong with me?

His mother is cornering him now. Begging him to look at her, to tell her that he's going to try this time. He can't bring himself to do it, though. It would just be another lie. The wrinkles in his forehead deepen, he tucks his face away, and she begins to cry-and now his father is really yelling-but his mother always cries...And she's got no real reason to. She's overly concerned. Thinks too much.

She shouldn't do that, he thinks. It's only hurting her; and, he doesn't want to hurt her. He wants to help her. He's too much of an issue with his learning disabilities and endless calls from the office, because low and behold, he had
gotten into another fight.

He truly is nothing but a problem.

Perhaps, once he's offed himself she could start over and get that perfect son she's always wanted.