My Sexual Abuse Story

Spilling the beans

Spilling the beans was probably one of the most difficult things I've had to do. I have only told 4 of my closest friends about it and I am planning on telling my parents after Christmas.

The first two people I told were online friends. I have never met them in real life, let's call them Isla and Oliver. Right as I said my first sentence, they immediately knew what had happened.

They tried to convince me to tell my parents that night. They begged me to, but I said no every time. When they asked me why, I just told them the truth. I was scared that my parents might not believe me or that they'll be mad at me for not telling them sooner. I was and am afraid that they'll feel disappointed in me.

My mom and dad are getting sicker by the day and they don't need this problem on top of everything. I prefer to suffer then see them suffer more then they already are.

The next person I told was my one of my best friends. We met in 6th grade in an after school program, but I haven't seen her in real life since then. We still talk all the time online though. Let's call her... Jess, I just added Jess into the group chat with Isla and Oliver and let her read the chat history. Then she texted me things like, "oh my god, this actually happened" "are you ok?" "Do you need help?" She wasn't worried about my past, she was worried about the present and the future. She was worried about my mental health, unlike Isla who said she wanted to kill the bastard. Oliver was pretty shocked about the whole thing because I've always been good at hiding my emotions and it probably didn't even cross his mind that anything like this could have happened.

Anyway, they were all pretty shocked about the whole thing and telling me to call out my uncle on this whole thing. I felt like I was being interrogated or attacked in a way. I started having a panic attack after that, but it went away pretty quickly. I cried a bit, but it felt good to get it off my chest. After my panic attack, I felt so much lighter because now I didn't have to talk to myself about it, I had people to talk to who I knew would listen.