The guy from the bar

Seventy Seven

Songs for this chapter:

I Don't Wanna Be Ok Without You - Charlie Burg

Madison's POV

"Madison, you're not dressed?" Ezra walked into my living room unannounced.

I was laying in sweats on my couch.

"For what?" I asked. I knew the answer already. But I had told my dad I wasn't going, and he keeps insisting. I can't believe he sent Ezra.

"You know for what. Dad told me to come get you." He said.

He sighed and sat down next to my feet.

"You know I don't like him." He looked at me. "But you care about him. And I think that if you don't go today you will regret it for the rest of your life."

"What's the point? What difference does it make if I go or not?"

"A lot. For him it makes a huge difference." He said. "He must feel scared, I imagine. He's alone."

"When was the last time you saw him?" He asked.

"Like a month ago."

He widened his eyes and nodded. "And your satisfied with that? You're okay with the way you two left things off?"

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

"Madison I know you. You're gonna regret it if you don't go today."

"I think I can live with it." I said.

Ezra frowned and looked down at his watch. "I'll tell dad that you won't go. But If you change your mind, the procedure is at 12pm."

He stood up and walked away.

Procedure? It's an execution, and I'm not gonna go be a part of that.

I sighed and looked away. I thought about his words... he's alone. He's tough though. After all, he is Jason McCann. And he wanted this! He wanted to die, well...

I sighed and grabbed my phone, ignoring the hesitation that was holding me back from doing it, and went into my photo gallery into the 'hidden' album, where all of me and Jason's pictures were stored.

Why does he have to do this to himself? To me?
How can prison be worse than living? I know it's shitty, and that I don't know what it's like but, at least he's alive!

I came across one of the first pictures we ever took together and took a deep breath.

Oh god. What am I doing?

He can't just say goodbye in a letter, how am I supposed to cope with this? How am I supposed to live with myself if I let him leave this world without saying goodbye? It's bad enough that it's happening, I should be there next to him.

Im just so scared of losing him again, I though if I just ignored the situation that it wouldn't hurt as much.

This is not about me. I can't do this to him. I have to go see him.

I looked at the time and realized there wasn't enough for me to get changed, it's a long drive, so I grabbed my keys and ran down the stairs.

I called my dad when I got in the car, but he didn't answer. That only made me panic. They can't do this before I get there. Please, god give me time to get there, please!

I managed to get there around 11:30 and now I was going through security.

Could they be any fucking slower? God!