Envious Love[Demi Lovato]

Chapter 9

Chapter 9 -

You know what you where doing was wrong. You knew it wasn't right but that was exactly why you didn't like speaking about it or telling people.

'Stop' you say... looking down ashamed.
So ashamed.
You where angry at yourself but her too, for getting involved.
'No you need to stop with this' she says as you roll your eyes and look down

'What do you know ... Just forget it'
You get up from sitting on her lap slightly embarrassed you where sat there for so long.

You had to admit... Now you where up you had a horrible cold non welcoming feeling run through your body being stood alone.
But you shake it away. It's demi. Not someone special. Gheeze.
You shake yourself to your usual shy, anxious self. God y/n snap out of it.
Stay alone, that's all you know. That's what you know.
It's what you're use to.

'Just at least listen to me'
You watch her get up with the bags in her hand as you try and snatch them.

'Demi give them to me' you grind your teeth together at the strain of frustration this was causing.

'No'

Was she really going to do this?

'They're mine' you murmur

'so you admit, they're yours now ?'

She knew what she was doing.

'This isn't funny I want them back' you cross your arms trying to stand up for yourself as she puts the bags in her own bag.
Really?
You watch her shocked.

'What the- demi ?' Your voice almost faded away.

Those where your only blades.
Plus you didn't want her walking around with that. It's yours.

'You're not having it back'
You think for a second and look down in the floor to see your bag opened up.
Eugh
You get on your knees slowly huffing once again to collect it then getting back up.

'Fine'
You look at her taking a deep breath.

You could get more, right ?
What was the point in saying more to her.
You had no idea what she was going to do but you wanted to leave her sight as soon as possible. This way there was more of a chance she may leave you alone.
You didnt want to make any further scenes with her.

She stares at you with an unreadable message as you break the eye contact.

'If youre going to do that then, fine'

You walk towards the door aware of Demi's confused expression just as you let the words leave your mouth. Ha! In your face demi. Not so in charge anymore.
Then, opening the door you realise it was time to go home.
Finally.

Breathing the fresh air through your lungs as you walked out the school gates and down the road you feel the cold stains on your face. Reminding you of that crazy avent that occurred for what it seemed all day. But then again, you had been atleast an hour and a half.
Hm, where did all the time go.

Taking again another deep breath you walk towards the gates and out the trap. Then almost feelig some sort of relief as you exited the gates.

Like any other day you walk home, by yourself, alone and drowned in your thoughts. But then again, this is what you know.

Right.

You grab your earphones plugging them in attempt to take over the nagging voices in your mind. Along with your conscience beating you for sitting on Demi's lap.
Did that all just really happen ?
You wanted some sort of break. You hit your head. What was you suppose to do? Run away crying. ?
Danm it hurt. You rub your head at the memory then pull it away feeling the pain spread. Wow that's going to hurt tomorrow.

She's so bossy, what's her problem? One minute she's dragging you down in class and then the next she's trying to sternly talk you out of your problems. She always thinks it's her business. Eugh

Filling your body with soothing melodies you turn up the volume.
Hm.
This was helping. Surprisingly.
Just push her to the side, you tell yourself.
Thinking about her must be one of the most exhausting things.

In a blink of an eye you find your toes at your door.. That was quick.

'Kate'
You close the door to see kate sat on the sofa watching the latest children's program. No doubt you would be stuck with the on going theme tunes when you attempted to sleep later as you had remove your own choice of music.
'How are you doing baby girl' you pick her up sitting on the sofa with her on your lap.
She was almost too interested in the program and her packet of crisps to look at you in the eyes.

'Did you have a good day' you kiss her warm cheek.'

'Hmm'
She mumbles still watching.

You giggle. Kids these days and their damaging programs.
'Wheres mummy?' You ask her not aware of your mums presence downstairs.

' in the Shower'
she says simply in her young stuttering voice and crunches again on a partly soggy crisp she has been holding and sucking. Lovely.
You hold onto Kate on the sofa. Her on your knees and her back on your front as you relax back with your calves up against the sofa.
You have the sudden urge to cry, or atleast sob.
Everyone was just so against you, however kate is so small and innocent, always there for you though, the one you could sit and cuddle even though she had no idea what horrible things this world could bring.
So young, she knew nothing ...

It made you upset just thinking how your precious sister would soon be vulnerable to this world. No. It made you want to lock her away and protect her from it, as horrible as it sounds like that... You meant it in the nicest way possible.
She's all you have.
You shake out a breath blinking back the tears. Stop. No
No more crying.
You take a deep breath as you hear something,
No. not now.