Hope And Faith ✓

20. Faith

Author: In your own words, what is change?

Hope: To me, it's the ability to let go of the person you were, or rather, thought you were. And embrace that there's always that thing that'll make you think that you're perfect the way you are.

The only way to achieve perfection is to change frequently. That's my perspective.

~Hope Manchester.

••

TRIGGER WARNING

••

It all started in fifth grade. It was that grade where girls started having crushes on guys and guys started realising that cooties weren't real.

My best friend of that time, Zara, had openly told my entire class that I had a crush on the most popular guy in our grade just so she could get accepted into the popular clique.

I, on the other hand, had been laughed at and mocked. I mean, who would like the ugly Faith Jennings?

And this is the time I tell you that back then I was not me. Or at least, model shaped.

I was fat. Like really really fat. My parents didn't care to take care of me so to fill up my loneliness when my brothers were absent I ate. It became a habit that I took to heart.

I would get up early in the morning to eat. It was sad and according to my mom, sickening and disgusting. Anytime she caught me eating she would always make me feel like shit, telling me that I was too fat or that I needed to lose some weight if I ever wanted to be her daughter.

It had killed me because whenever Hugo or Aiden caught me eating they would do almost the same. But more nicely. Hugo would reduce my food portion and pat me on the head while Aiden would take my plate altogether. Chase would grab a spoon and join me to eat.

It wasn't until people started noticing how cute my brothers were did I start realising I needed to lose weight. Girls in my grade would be nice to me just to get closer to my brothers. It wasn't a very nice blow to my confidence or esteem.

I could still clearly remember seventh grade when Melody Pennington had moved to town.

Melody was half Asian half European. Instead of taking her actual name; Abella Bao Ling Pennington, she preferred being called the only English name her parents had to give her, Melody.

When I first realised her name wasn't Melody it intrigued me.

Back then I was working on losing weight, it was working. My trainer had advised me to start exercising and then I took up gymnastics. It was hard, being a girl that used to have weight and could barely carry herself. It was a challenge. But I pushed myself harder than ever when I found out that Melody was on the school team.

We became friends instantly after I made the cut. Melody was popular, there could have been a million Melody's in town and she'd be the only one everyone remembered. And even with all that popularity Melody hid the real her. I knew because I was observant, there were times she would want to do things but would force herself not to. And aside from that the way she constantly checked behind her back like she was being followed, or the way she would wave us off if we asked her to hang out or to drive her home.

Or the way she would flinch slightly when people touched her.

It was slight but I noticed it. And that had only piled up to my load of questions I had for her but I knew the time was not right. I needed more evidence.

The time came when Melody's father celebrated his birthday. Melody never looked him in the eye, she had made it discreet but I wasn't dumb enough to miss it. She agreed with everything he said, whether right or wrong and would almost jump away from him anytime he would want to touch her.

Her mother was worse. She was an Asian woman that most people would say was quiet. She was not quiet, I knew.

She would stay at the corner of the living room where she could blend in with the wall and anytime someone came to talk to her she would look at her husband as if she was asking for his permission.

I had noticed all the signs and noted them down.

Melody and I had a local gymnastic competition that day. We had practised together all week to prepare for it, it would be one of her many wins but it was my first time practising gymnastics outside the training centre.

Melody had not won. I had.

That was the first thing I noticed when I was given the gold medal and Melody the sliver. It was her first-ever loss, I expected her to have different feelings and emotions towards it.

I did not expect the fear and horror I saw on her face. That was the first red flag. The second was when her mother had looked like she was going to faint. The third and the one that had set the alarms ringing in my head was when her father looked furious.

I had gone to visit her later that day, I didn't know why but I did. When no one opened the door I let myself in.

It was the first time I had seen him hit her. He didn't smack her or anything like that. He was yelling at his wife to shut up as he beat her. With his leather belt.

I had heard to noise outside if I was being completely honest, but curiosity killed the cat and trust me when I saw the satisfaction failed to bring me back.

When he spotted me I ran. I ran as far as I could till I reached home.

I thought that would be the end but it was only the beginning.

••

Two hours ago

When I finished plaiting my hair I looked at myself in the mirror.

I only wore make-up on rare occasions, and few were days like today. I was going to be meeting my attorney for the first time before my case.

My Mom had told me that I had to dress to impress and that today was going to be fine. I was not sure if she thought that her telling me that today would be fine would make up for all those years then she must have been missing some valuable screws.

Aiden was the only one around. Hugo had told me he had to get to work while Chase apologised, he had been cancelling on his friends for weeks and now he had to pay them back with his presence.

"Sis, we gotta go," Aiden looked at his wristwatch. "We're already late as it is and I wouldn't want Mom saying we didn't go." He gave me a lopsided grin and I smiled back.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll come just give me a minute, okay?" He nodded and left me alone in the bathroom once again.

I stared at my reflection.

I was going to win this because Melody Pennington deserved justice. Because Abella Bao Ling Pennington deserved justice.

And I would be damned if I didn't give it to her.