Delilah and Collete

chapter two: complex feelings

delilah 

I woke up the next morning later than usual to a knock at my door , i opened the door and Alice stood there will her sweet, rosy grin i yawned and she handed me an envelope "from home i pressume" she said , then walked away . i shut my door and sat down on my bed . i smiled warmly when i noticed that the address was written in mothers handwriting , i carefully tore open the envelope and unfolded the paper , excitedley , i began to read it .

M Y    D E A R E S T   D E L I L A H 

I   A M   T E R R I B LY   S O R R Y    T O   I N F O R M   Y O U    T H A T    K I T T Y   P A S S E D   A W A Y             Y E S T E R D A Y ,  I   W O U L D   H A V E   W R I T T E N   T O   T E L L   Y O U   W E    W E R E   E X P E C T I N G   H E R    D E A T H    B U T   E V E N   I N    H E R    L A S T   F E W   D A Y S    S H E   W A S  L I V L E Y . H E R   D E A T H    W A S   A    S H O C K    T O   U S   A L L .   I F   Y O U    A R E   A B L E    T O     T R A V VEL   D O W N    T H E    F U N E R A L    S H A L L     B E    T H I S    C O M I N G     S U N D A Y .   Y O U R       S I S T E R S   M I S S   Y O U   D R E A D F U L L Y     A N D   S E N D   T H E I R   L O V  E  .   O N C E   A G A I N    D A R L I N G ,   I   A M    S O R R Y .   A LL  M Y  L O V E 

my face dropped . i dropped the letter on the floor and my head slumped into my trembling hands . numb with shock . i lay down on my back and started up the ceiling . i wanted to cry but my eyes were dry and my heart was empty . i felt nothing . my mind was a dull dark void , all my thoughts and feelings had diminished . leaving me  bitterly  empty and painfully numb . There was a loud absence of feelings that haunted my every move . A while later i snapped out my sorrowful trance to the sound of the bell, that lead downstairs with a rope, ringing . i got up and started into the mirror my tired , frail face staring back at me.

I trugged down the stairs And Alice handed me a stack of delicate , dainty china plates . i worked my way around the long , wooden table and laid the plates down at each seat. Lord anderson strided into the dining room and took a seat at the head of the table whilst collete followed behind him . i Hastily diverted my eyeline away from colletes soft delicate features when her icy blue ocean eyes met mine  . I started down at the last plate in my hands it had the Initials L.E. engraved into the edge .  i saw an abundance of red petals held in pale Elegant hands out of the corner of my eye . I stared at the beautiful flowers that collete was  placing in a tall ivory vase and a wave of throbbing grief washed over me as my hands started to tremble. Red Roses . I  was startled by the loud of clash on the china plate at my feet as it shatterd into millions of tiny shards .Before i could react A loud Silence filled the haul and all eyes turned to me , tears running down my face hot, red face ,like a  helpless child . "Delilah how could you be so clumsy and -" his voice was painfully furious but it was suddenly interrupted by the pleasant voice of collete "leave it father" she Sighed blankly although her icy blue eyes were welling up with tears . she rushed over to my feet and started to quickly pick up shards of china and place them on the table. after a moment of awkwardly stranding , towering over her i bent down to help her  . i placed the last peices of china on the table and noticed that blood was dripping from her hand , an alarming amount "Collete your bleeding" i exclaimed she rose to her feet silently ."i-im fine" she mutters breathily , immediately before taking a look at her needing hand then collapsing harshly onto the wooden floor . Lord anderson immediately rose to his feet and hurried over to unconscious collete "look what you've done delilah"                                                                                           "i didnt-" i stutterd                                                                                                                                                                 "stay with her whilst i fetch  the doctor" he hurried out out the room and i awkwardly crouched next to Collete who was gravely pale ,but still  strikingly beautiful, i cautiously moved closer towards her and her eyelids began to flicker . she Stood up hastily but weakly i tried to take her arm but she push my arm away and stood at the table . after catching her breath she started to franticly regarange the species of china like a jigsaw puzzle her face was a mixture of focused and hurt  "delilah go and look for some glue" she demanded quietly but as she spoke she struggled to stay upright and i offered her my arm this time she did not resist my help and fell into my arms "you can buy another plate , you should really rest" she ignored me and got back up and continued to arrange the pieces of the broken plate i gently put my arm round her and pushed her hand away from the china , accidentally demolishing the arrangement of the Pieces . A single tear ran down colletes face and she angrily stormed ahead of me up the stairs .  "collete calm down its only a plate" i called after her but i heard her door slam harshly in the distance and i ran up the many stairs leading to her room . I sat down with my back again the door "I'm sorry i didnt realise you were so sensitive" my words were meant to sound sympathetic and comforting but instead they came out malicious and teasing . i clenched my fists in annoyance and frustration "collete don't be like this talk to me i might just be your useless maid to you but i care about you more than you will ever know" i exclaimed desperately . there was still no response so i got up and opened the door . collete was sitting on her bed . tears streaming down her pale face like a violent  as she sobbed violently . he clasped a string of pearls in her hand. that i recognised . she peered down at them and then back up at me . "this is the only thing i have left of her" she sobbed My heart sunk As i realised i could not be the only reason why she was so distressed . I hastily sat down next to her on the bed and took her hands , She was slitty taken aback but she started at me blankly through her tears ."left of who?" she stared at the pearl necklace "talk to me collete" i sighed                                                                                                               "my mother" she said , crying less violently now and fiddling with the pearls . i nodded "That was her plate"  she stated blanky and took her hands away from mine                                                            "I'm so sorry collete " i said as a tear rolled down my cheek                                                                                   "You can just say sorry for being so clumsy and then its over for you , But i have to accept that my mother will never come back . Father won't even allow me to talk about her . Because apparently no man will marry the daughter of an insane women who was selfish enough to deprive her only Child of a mother and i carry that weight on my shoulders every day "   she struggled to hold herself together as she spoke  . Her words stung me .   " wow , collete" i said sarcastically and frustratedly "you think your the only person to experience grief you don't know half the things ive been through"                                                                                                                                   "this isn't about you"  collete said loudly ,her voice clear and angry .   I got up and hastily made my way towards the door "wait Delilah , I'm sorry , please" collete exclaimed desperately   , her voice quivering . i turned around and sat down next to her again  she leaned  her head on my shoulder but i jolted away out of frustration "my sister died" i said blankly "i found out this morning" i glared at Collete and watched her face drop "I'm sorry you must hate me for  being so selfish" she signed taking my placing her hand on my arm gently                                                                  "ill never hate you" i said leaning in closer and she rested her head on my shoulder "and I'm so sorry about your mothers plate . i couldn't bear seeing roses they were my sisters ,kitty's favourite flowers  and i used to pick them for her when she couldn't get out of bed" i said                       "I'm sure if she saw her big sister being so strong shed be proud" collete said squeezing my hand .i turned to face her and we smiled into each others eyes i placed my hand on her soft , rosy tear stained face and gazed into her crystal blue eyes . she smiled back at me with an expression i had never seen on her face before. we both jumped when there was a knock at the door and i hastily got off her bed and jumped into the red , velvet armchair beside it    .Lord Anderson flung open the door and a smartly dressed man carrying a brief case followed behind him as he strode towards collete who was sitting on her bed . The smartly dressed man , who must have been a doctor took Colletes bloody hand and gave me a cloth , "get this wet" i returned with the damp cloth and the doctor started to clean colletes cut hand  . He took some bandages out of his brief case and managed up colletes hand . "you should be fine , rest if you feel faint again" He said and collete nodded "thank you" lord anderson said to the doctor and beconed me out of the room . I quickly smiled too collete before leaving the room .