Learning to Love

Chapter 1

Walking back into the hotel this late could really get me in trouble, but I just don't care right now. I just want to go to bed and sleep off the day. It had been pretty rough at work today, and I don't want to exist anymore. I've already gotten myself coked up and extremely drunk, I simply don't care what Charlie or Vaggie would say about this. It's late, and Vaggie is likely be in bed again, So it's probably Charlie and she's a bit more lenient with me. Though I am aware that someday soon I'll probably fuck this up and get myself booted. In fact, I'm pretty sure that Val is hoping for that, betting on it really. He wants me in the palm of his hand and I am, I really am. I'm his bitch, and I always will be. That' s my only purpose here in hell, to be at Val's constant beck and call. To show up wherever and whenever he wants me.

I laughto myself, making a few people on the street look at me a bit funny. I really am just here to do whatever Val wants me to do aren't I? I'm just a piece of meat for him to use. I let him get to me. I let him treat me like shit... I have no respect for myself. And I don't see that changing anytime soon. I'm pathetic. I don't deserve the chance that everyone at the hotel is giving me. I'm laughing to keep back the tears. A tactic I use quite often. I've even ruined some takes at work... Val smacked me good for those.

I sigh, leaning against the wall by the front entrance to the hotel. I have to pull myself together before I can go in there. Charlie is gonna be so disappointed, and I hate that look she gave me when this stuff happened. I'm far too gone for her to get emotional. I would actually chose to talk to her, but I know that I won't remember this, so I can't talk tonight. I can't bear my soul to her. I wipe my eyes and stand up, walking through the door, trying to just make my way to the elevator.

"Angel" a staticky voice called, making me tense up and freeze where I am "It is far later than your curfew" I glance over my shoulder, looking at the radio demon. I still can't believe that he's turned me down so many times, who in all of hell does that? No one turns me down. And i mean no one. Even when I offered my services for a discount!

"Curfew? Ya must be goin' nuts smiles. I ain't got no curfew. Work kept me late tonight. No biggie, I'm just headed to bed. That is, unless ya wanted to take me up on my offer. I've always got a little room in my schedule for ya~." I smirk, walking towards him, trying to look enticing, but in my drunken state, I end up stumbling into him. I look up at him, shocked that he caught me. His eyes flicker between normal and the radio dials for a second, scary.

"Angel dear, you know I don't like to be touched," he said after a moment. "Please refrain from touching me further. " I stared at him for another moment before realizing what he's said standing, "Sorry babe, just couldn't help fallin for ya" I tease, laughing softly.

"Angel," he replies, his voice soft but stern, "Firstly, refrain from your... flirting. Second, you're not in a state that is acceptable for this hotel. Refrain from coming back like this in the future. Charlie and Vaggie would be disappointed finding you like this."

I roll my eyes, looking down, "My choice smiles. I can do what I want. I've come back like this before and Charlie hasn't said much about it. She has no clients. She can't afford to give up on me. The reputation already sucks, how much worse would it be if I left?" I huff, crossing my lower arms over my body, "I'm not drunk enough for this bullshit. Ya ain't my pimp, and ya ain't my boyfriend. Ya ain't even a client! Ya don't get ta' tell me what I can and can't do." I walk over to the bar planning to grab a bottle and go up to my room.

But as I reach to grab a bottle, all of them disappear. I groan, turning around "The fuck Al!" I walk over to him, "Why would you do that?!" His head cocks to the side slightly, in that creepy, doll-like way.

"That is not yours to take. You did not plan to pay did you? That is theft. I will not allow this in the hotel" he smiles widely at me, his eyes flickering to dials for a few seconds. I roll my eyes at him "Whateva.." I mutter, turning to go upstairs once again, stumbling over my own feet. Fuck I am really drunk... and it doesn't help that I'm high too. I wait for the elevator for a minute before giving up. I just want to get away from him... it's just the third floor. Only 30 or so steps... I sigh, starting up, stumbling slightly.

I gasp, feeling arms picking me up bridal style. I look up, my eyes widdening. "Al what the fuck put me down!" I try to push him away, but he just tightens his grip on me.

"You cannot possibly make it up all these steps on your own. I am just taking you to your bed. That is all. Do not attempt to make this anything more." His voice is more staticky than normal, showing just how much he dislikes this. He hates touching me. I know he does. Anyone decent does. I don't feel like fighting anymore. I just let him carry me.
When we reach my door he puts me down. I quickly unlock it and step inside.

"I hope you ha—" I slam the door in his face. I don't want to hear his pity words. I don't need his help.... I don't need anyone's help...

I huff going to my vanity. Fuck, my makeup is so messy... he knew I'd been crying... was... was I still crying? I sniffle softly, wiping at my under eyes. "God damn it..." I mutter, resting my head in my hands. I sigh and grab my makeup remover, wiping it all off my face, before changing into my pjs. I scoop Nugs out of his bed and bring him into my bed with me. I pull my big, fluffy blanket around us, nuzzling him as I slowly drift to sleep.