✓ 𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝕬𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝕭𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖄𝖔𝖚 : 𝕱𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖂𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖑𝖊𝖞

𝖝 : 𝕻𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖈

CW: Panic Attack

𝕷𝖎𝖑𝖆

"Lila you have to get out of bed." Dahlia hums as she plays with my hair. "I don't want to." I mumble. It has been two days since the ball and most students have gone home for the winter holiday.

"At least get up and take a shower if that is all you can do." She sighs before getting up and walking out of my dorm. I rub the sleep out of my puffy eyes before deciding that Dahlia was right.

I let out a sigh of contentment as the warm water soothes my aching muscles. My body has always reacted physically whenever I am hurting psychologically. Mum still hasn't been able to explain it though.

I decide to spend what little energy I have walking to the astronomy tower. The outfit I put together matches with the scenery perfectly. The smell of fresh snow fills the air.

My nose turns pink causing me to sniffle. I let out a few deep breaths just to see it in the cold air. I watch as a few owls fly to and from the owlery delivering letters and small parcels.

Mother said she would be sending Dahlia and me small gifts but can't visit because she is 'out of town' which is code for she plans on getting as high as possible to try and numb the pain.

If only it was that simple.

"Thought I might see you here."

"What are you doing here Fred?" I ask without turning to look at him. I just can't. "Mum and dad are visiting Charlie again so the Weasleys are at Hogwarts for Christmas this year." He explains.

"Sounds fun." I reply passively. "I'm sorry for whatever I did." His voice is low. "Don't be sorry, you didn't do anything Fred." A smile ghosts my face.

"Obviously I did, you've been avoiding me for two days." He says. "I've been in bed for two days." I reply. "Oh." Fred sighs. "Are you having another episode?" He asks in a small voice.

It runs in my family to go through depressive episodes. The twins have helped me and even Dahlia through many. I wordlessly nod my head and he instinctively wraps an arm around me.

"Don't."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not you Fred, trust me it isn't. I just- I'm confused." I chuckle sadly. "Confused about what?" I finally look up to meet his burning gaze. "It isn't something I can talk to anyone about. Not even you or Dahlia." I explain.

"The more you hold it in the worse it will get, you know this Rose."

"Please Fred, I- I need to be alone." The nickname causes my eyes to glaze over. "Okay, if you need me I'll be in the Ravenclaw common room, were all hanging there" He kisses my forehead before walking down the spiral staircase.

I bring my hand to my mouth to muffle my sobs.

Why is this happening to me?

♥︎

After unsuccessfully calming myself down I am able to gain the strength to walk back to the Ravenclaw common room, red-eyed and all.

"Oh Lila." Dahlia immediately recognizes the warning signs, leaving the group. "Come on let's go to your dorm." She makes sure that no one asks questions about why I look the way I do, which is a hot- scratch that just a mess.

"Tell me what is going on." She keeps her voice level. I stutter at first "my chest hurts, my head hurts, I can't feel my hands." I sob lightly. "Okay what do you want me to do?" She asks. I hate that I have to put my younger sister through this. I am battling with myself but I know what I need.

"The twins."

"Okay here is what I need you to do for me, take this and hold it, remember I will be right back with the twins." She explains while handing me my safety stuffed animal. I clutch the elephant close to my chest as I try to slow my own heartbeat.

"Lila, it's okay we are here now." The voice of George. "I need you to breathe for me okay, in through your nose and out through your mouth." George takes breaths with me as Fred sits next to me silently.

"Remember my love this will pass soon okay, we will get through this." George assures me. Him calling me that only furthers my pain.

"I'm sorry." I cry as I launch myself forward, clinging to his body. "Don't be sorry Lila, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay." He leans against my bed as he rubs my back. I hear Fred's footsteps leave and comeback. "Here, take a sip" he holds a straw to my lips.

My breathing returns to normal. "I'm going to move you onto your bed okay." I nod sleepily, my body exhausted from the overload. "Stay with me, both of you." I beg weakly. "Okay Lila." Fred replies.

George lets me rest my head on his chest and Fred leans against the post at the foot of my bed. "Get some rest Lila, you deserve it." George says before kissing my head. The sound of his heartbeat lulls me into a dreamless sleep.

:𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊:
This chapter is so important to me because I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and want to spread awareness on what it really is. Sometimes the attacks can be visual like Lila's and sometimes they can be silent. I always try to make mental health an important topic.
DECEMBER 24 UPDATE: Merry Christmas if you celebrate it but if you don't then I hope you enjoy time off from school or work.