hollywood dreaming

fourty

after my dad brought liv and olly by we became a lot closer and i really was happy about it. we got lunch every wednesday's his breaks and we just talked. my mom was not happy about it when she found out. she always has to be in control of everything and when she found out she didn't like the fact that she wasn't included.

life is turning out for me. finally i get to live life without the dull shadow of sadness following me. i genuinely felt like i belonged somewhere. i have never felt this so, in place, until now. i didn't even know this level of happy existed.

"mae." gus grumbled pulling me into him. his morning voice sent chills down my spine.

"gussie." i said, kissing him on the forehead.

"can we please lay in bed all day?" he said softly.

"yes baby, we can." i said running my hands through his hair.

"mae?" he asked.

"gus?" i asked back.

"i love you." he almost whispered.

"i love you gus." i said. i truly meant it. with every ounce of my being i love this man.

so we lied in bed all day and i didn't think i could fall in love with him any more than i have but, i did. he was the definition of perfection in my eyes. he showed me all the songs he's been writing and asked my opinion on them. i didn't have one bad thing to say about any of his music.

"let's do it gus." i said.

"do what?" he asked.

"let's get married." i said. his eyes lit up.

"let's go pick out an engagement ring." he pulled me up.

we threw on bummy clothes and went to the jewelry store. he was picking out huge rings and honestly i didn't need a giant diamond. i just wanted something simple and small. i finally fell in love with one. a ruby ring. it was fucking beautiful. the ruby contrasted well against my pale skin.

"this is the one gus." i said.

"that one is going to be 15,000 dollars." the lady behind the counter said.

"oh no that's too much." i said handing it back.

"we'll take it." gus said.

"no gus that's too much!" i whisper yelled.

"we can go look at some cheaper options if you'd like?" the lady said.

"no we're taking this one. that's final." gus said looking down at me.

"gus." i pleaded.

"maeve money doesn't mean shit to me. if you like this one we're getting it." he said, squeezing my hand.

"i love you." i said.

"i love you mae." he said, kissing the top of my head.

we decided we weren't going to tell anyone for a while because we weren't actually getting married for a little while. gus wanted to make sure this is what i wanted before we picked a date out for the wedding.

i can't believe devin and i are both engaged. it feels like a dream to me. i never thought i'd be so in love with someone this young but, gus has my entire heart. i would sell my soul to live happily ever after with this man. i'm not even just saying that. there is something about gus that makes me just feel like me.

no matter what shit we go through we somehow find our easy back to each other and i think it's just a sign. we will never be able to leave each other alone. he is truly my soulmate and i wouldn't change that for anything in the entire world.

"baby." he whispered.

"i'll love you for forever." he said, looking me dead in the eyes.

"i'm so in love with you gus. i don't know how to handle it." i told him.

"i can't wait to have a family with you maeve. i never thought i would want a family and kids and shit but god i can't stop thinking about a mini us running around. maybe a few mini of us." he said with the biggest goofy smile on his face.

"a few?! i don't know about a few. unless you're the one carrying them for 9 months." i laughed.

"sorry baby. it's gonna be you." he chuckled.

"are you still gonna love me when i'm all fat, moody and pregnant?" i said.

"you know i'll love you even more because you'll be carrying my baby." he said, kissing me.

"you better. i'll kill you." i said, giggling.

"you couldn't kill me, you love me way too much." he said kissing my nose.

"you wanna bet?" i said, climbing on top of him. i wrapped both my hands around his throat and his eyes widened.

"you're gonna make me act up." he warned.

"act up then." i dipped my head down and whispered in his ear.

"big mistake." he growled.

he grabbed my waist and flipped me over to where he was on top now. his lips found their way to my neck and his hands explored my body like he had never touched it before. my breath hitched in the back of my throat when his hands began rubbing the inside of my thighs.

"gus." i whined, he was teasing me. 

"what's wrong angel?" he whispered then nibbled my ear.

"quit teasing." i begged.

"you're gonna have to try harder than that." he said, now squeezing my thighs.

"i'm not gonna beg." i said, trying to hold my ground.

"baby it's only gonna get worse from here." he smiled.