His Wife - TWD [ 2 ]

Chapter 9 - snap out of it

"I'm sorry." Denise shakes her head, "you have two bruised ribs, your entire side is screwed up." She explained, "I couldn't find a heartbeat, I am really sorry."

I nod slowly, wiping the tears from my cheeks I sat up. "Yeah, figured." I simply say, not really registering it. "You okay?" Rick asks, holding my shoulder.

"Sure, you?" I ask.
"I'm okay." He smirked, the look of hurt written in his features, "How do we get it out of her?" Rick asks.

"Surgery, pretty fast too." Denise explains.
"Then let's do it." I shrugged, "While I'm still here."

-

"I don't really care." I shrugged, closing my eyes and snuggling more into the covers, "Isabella, it's been all day." Rick says worriedly, "you need to get up."

"Rick I just... don't feel well." I coughed, sitting up I shook my head.
"You lost a little blood, it's going to be okay." Rick says, sitting next to me he grabs my hand, "What did Negan do?"

I paused, looking at his hand I pulled out the ring he gave me, "He liked to think he could do anything and everything with us..." I hesitate, "... with us wives. He isolated me in my own room, I fought against him. Punched him, kicked his friend Dwight in the groin." I cough, sliding the ring on my finger, "He tried to break me, like he's trying to break Daryl."

"Is Daryl ok?" Rick asks.
"He's okay, from what I saw." I shrug, "I... am screwed up."

"No. No no no your not." Rick shakes his head, wrapping his arm around me, "You are okay. If Negan lets you by more often, maybe you'll feel better. If he doesn't, like I said." He runs the ring, "That's me. That's everyone we lost. They are with you, by your side."

I didn't know exactly what to say, I simple nodded, kissing him on the cheek. I really didn't know what to do with myself, "I haven't killed a walker in a month... and a few weeks." I shrugged, standing up I immediately felt lightheaded. Slumping over I rubbed my eyes, Rick stood up immediately grabbing my arm to support me, "Maybe you should just stay home. I can ask the group to come say hi... since it's been a month since we have seen you..." Rick says.

"Can it just be you for now?" I just let myself slump on him in a hug, "I don't ever want to leave you, leave Alexandria."

"Negans going to come in a few days..." Rick sighed, dragging his finger over the growing scar of the wound Negan left me on my head, "... maybe you'll feel better then. And we can go on a stroll, go and pick the tomatoes in the Alexandria gardens." He explained, "I just want you to relax for now, okay?" He nods.

"... yeah." I shrugged, slowly laying back down on the bed Rick pulled a blanket over me, kissing my forehead he closes the door, leaving me alone.

-

Morning passed onto evening as it darkened, I haven't gotten out of bed. No one talked to me like I asked.

"Rick?" I called, and there was no response.
I groaned, I have I get up.

I coughed, taking in a sharp breath in I slowly added my weight on my legs I stood up, a sharp pain enters my side as I held the bed sightly for support.

I walked over to the door, opening it I take a sharp breath in. "Judith?" I called.

A small coo echoed in the house as I sighed in relief.

I remember when I couldn't even listen to her laugh or cry. When I didn't care for her. Now I am her mother figure, what a change of tables.

I limp my way over to her room, what felt like- to me- was all the beautiful color in the world was drained of meaning since Negan killed RJ. Everything lost its meaning.

But Judith was my color.

I pick her up, barely able to stand whilst I manage and rock her on my shoulder.

"Hm.." I start to hum.

You are my sunshine.

"Hm hm hm hmmm hmmm..."

My only sunshine...
You make me happy... when skies are grey... you'll never know dear-

"How much I love you..." I hear a voice behind, in reaction I flip around, squeezing Judith to my shoulder in fear.
"Sorry if I scared you." Carl shrugged, "Mom use to sing it to me when I was a child."

I nod slowly, my breaths ragged as Judith cooed.

"I know, it's just Carl, It's just Carl." I nod, sounding to reassure myself more than Judith, "Bell?" Carl asks, stepping towards me as he reached out to grab my arm.

This wasn't planned, Bella. You belong to me.

I shook my head, trying to snap the voice from my head, "Carl?" I ask.

"Yeah, Yeah Bell it's me..." he steps towards me again, his hand on my shoulder, "Need to be alone?" He asks.

"Yeah... t-take Judith, please." I ask.
Carl nods slowly, grabbing Judith he closes the door. Leaving me.

I rub my temples, remembering Winnie. I smirked to myself, immediately the smirked dropped as I hissed in pain, holding my aching side.

I lift the side of my shirt, seeing the black and blue bruised all over my side and my shoulders. I see large stitches under my belly button. I hyperventilate, clasping my hand over my mouth I closed my eyes.

You need to snap out of it.
"Shut up."
Snap out of it.
"You are... you've been dead Stacey, just leave me alone..."
You let Negan kill RJ.
"You-You can't talk." I shook my head, "You aren't with me anymore, you are... you are gone."

I grabbed my head, "Stupid head trauma."

-
Two days later...

"Hey." Rick whispers, pushing the hair from my face. "It's 9, time to get up."

I coughed, holding my side I sat up, "Yep,"

I stood, not caring I'm wearing pajamas I just walked out of the room, pausing I turned around noticing he wasn't following. In a daze.

"Hey?" I asked, walking up to him I grabbed his hand as he still zoned out.
"Hey whats going on?" I asked.

"... I just..." He stammered, "I can't believe you might not ever be with us everyday again. I can't wake you up every morning, making your breakfast and give you the care you deserve." He started to get emotional, squeezing my hand he dropped his head, "We lost RJ, Isabella. We lost him because of Negan."

I froze, freezing up I just simply looked at him, a single tear rolled down my cheek as I pressed my head to his head gently, "Dont loose hope, whether I'm here or I'm not. Don't forget, as long as I have this ring, you'll know I'm safe."