Not Okay

Prologue

Aubrey, 17  2016

I've never felt so alone. I have no right to say that though. I have a good family and my parents are wealthy. There not home a lot but they still provide for me.

I have friends. Although I really only have one true friend which is Reese. A lot of people at my private school pretend to like me to my face but that's only because they know my family is a super well liked family in California and they don't want to be on my parents bad side. The other half of the people at my school don't even pretend anymore. They know I won't say anything to my parents about the stuff they say to me. I think most of the people at my school know the rumors about me being a slut aren't true but they don't care because hating me is what you have to do if you want to be cool.

Reese doesn't care though. She knows the truth and chooses to stick by me even if it means there's a target on her back. I'm not one to talk about my feelings but if I did it would definitely be to her. Maybe not anymore but before this month she's be my guess. I haven't seen her in like week. We've  been slowly drifting apart because she's always with her boyfriend Adam . I get it though he's more interesting then I am and probably more fun my i'd pick him over me too. 

There's really nothing here for me anymore. I stopped showing up to school this month i lay in bed all day. I have no motivation anymore. I'm failing all of my classes my parents don't know because they're not home but even if they were home they'd just think I was in a teen rebellion faze when in reality i'm suffocating. I'm being held hostage by my own mind 24/7. I can't escape it. It's such a horrible place to be locked in every second of everyday but I can't leave. It feels like someone is holding my head under water and the only way to leave is to give up and give into what my head wants.I

I give up