I Could Really Use Somebody

Chapter 12

***Lauren's P.O.V***

Later that night I went through all the little things Hayes did and smiled like an idiot. I really do like Hayes but I have to trust him first. He also has to know about my past and I am not ready for that.

I was scrolling through Instagram when I found a picture posted 27 minutes ago of Hayes with the caption "love this girl". It was him and a girl, but the girl was not me. I immediately started thinking about everything I've ever done and thought if I did something wrong. He said he had feelings for me too so why is he posting pictures with other girls??

My anxiety got the best of me. My palms started getting sweaty and my head hurt. I knew right then and there that I was having a panic attack.

My panic attacks usually go by me crying, pacing the floor, and cutting. I skipped the first too steps and ran into the bathroom.

1 cut

2 cuts

3 cuts

I stopped at 10 and put the blade down. The hardest part of cutting is knowing that they are gonna be scars and people are gonna ask about them. I make up some bullshit story about how it was the cat when I don't even have a cat. I wish it was easier to explain it.

I wasn't mad at Hayes but I sure as hell wasn't happy with him. What if I'm just part of his little game. The new girl comes in and the athlete tries to swoop off her feet. Only to find out that he is an asshole with like 3 girlfriends.
I defiantly need to take a walk.

I jump out if bed and but on a black. jacket on over my white sundress that I've had for years, some combat boots and a Infiniti scarf.

I walked all the way to the park and sat on a bench. Hayes was no where in sight so I just listened to my iPod. Halfway through "Take Me To Church" when I see a cute couple sitting across from me. Only the boy looked a little too familiar. Hayes.

Hayes saw me staring and had a shocked expression on his face.

I got angry and ran up to them.

"Umm Hayes, who is this...?!" I said cockily.

"This is Lindsay." Hayes said with hurt and sorrow in his voice.

"What the hell Hayes?!! Just today you said that you had feelings for me!! We fucking kissed!! How could you?!" I yell infuriated. I was right, I was just part of his little game.

"Is this true Hayes?!" Lindsay shouts at him.

"Umm." Was all he could say before I took off.

"Lauren wait!" Hayes said running towards me. He grabbed my arm and stopped me right in my tracks.

"Please let me explain." He said out of breath.

"Why would you do this Hayes. I mean, I've only known you for like 4 days but we kissed and you t-told me y-you liked m-me." I said with hurt in my voice. I was crying and I had every right to be.

"Lauren please don't cry." He said starting to tear up. He hugged me tight, I tried to push him off but he was to strong.

"Tell me why you did it. P-please." Hayes sighs and tells me to sit down.

"What I'm about to tell you is something I've never told anyone before, not even Nash." I nod telling him to continue.

"About a year ago, I became very depressed and I thought I had no one. I got bullied because I would sit alone at lunch tables and in class. So I changed my look and started to drown myself in girls. But when I met you, something changed inside me. I knew that I couldn't hurt you and I had to try my best to protect you and one day call you mine. And Lauren, I-i am so f-fucking sorry. You don't know how bad I feel. Please please give me one more chance to prove that I am worthy to be your man." Hayes said crying.

"I give you one more chance. But please don't hurt me again." I said responding.

"Trust me I won't babe. Come to my place tonight, my parents arn't home so they won't mind." Hayes said softly.

"My mom is at work so she wouldn't notice I was even gone." I said staring at the ground.

"We should go, do you want me to carry you again? Anything for my lady." Hayes said with a British accent.

"Yes please, I am sooo tired. As soon as we get to your place I'm crashing on the closest bed." I said hopping in Hayes's arms.

"So I guess this means I'm not getting lucky tonight?" Hayes said smirking. I respond by just slapping his chest.

"I'm kidding, we'd only do it when your ready." Hayes whispered in my ear. He then kissed my forehead and my nose. I smiled slightly. Before the arms of the darkness pulled me into a deep sleep.