If only

2. Concert?

October 25, 2019

Although it had almost been a year since the breakup with Gavin, Jade was still affected by it.

It's not that she necessarily missed him, it's just that the things he did to her affected her more than she'd like to admit.

About a month after their breakup, Gavin reached out to her trying to get back with her, but eventually ghosted her a few weeks later. He did this every other month until March when he finally decided to leave her alone.

This only made it harder for her to get over him, because having that false hope that he might be coming back just kept her away from everyone else and only wishing to be with him when there were so many better people waiting for her out there.

But after that, she completely shut down. Whatever was left of her emotions, eventually turned to numbness. She felt nothing for anyone, or anything. Everyday began to feel the same, like she was waking up to the same nightmare over and over again.

She let herself get to the lowest point she could think possible, and at that point she felt she would never feel okay again.

Jade slowly opened her eyes to the afternoon sun beaming through her apartment window. She slightly sat up on her elbows, turning to the clock on the nightstand that read 1:33 p.m.

are you fucking kidding me..

She scoffed in annoyance, throwing her head back and placing her hands on her face.

This wasn't the first time Jade had slept in way longer than she needed, but that didn't mean it wasn't just as frustrating. Although she set multiple alarms for herself, she'd grown accustomed to drowning the sound out, leaving her with the extra hours of sleep she most definitely did not need.

After a minute of contemplating whether she should get out of bed or not, she finally decided it would be best to just get up for once.

She pulled herself out of bed, making her way over to the vanity and placing herself in the chair in front of it. She sat there for a moment, taking in her appearance through the mirror.

Her dirty blonde hair was tangled and all over the place, her hazel eyes decorated with purple bags beneath them, and the sickly pale tone of her face made her cringe at the sight.

god, i'm a fucking mess.

It had probably been weeks since the last time Jade got fully ready. Ever since she quit her job, she's had no reason to.

Ember had been paying all the bills since then, which of course made Avery feel terrible, but Ember was understanding. Jade had been going through a really rough spot in her life and she was willing to do anything for Jade.

Jade knew she needed to get a job soon, but the thought of it felt like smashing her head into a brick wall. Getting out of bed in the morning- or afternoon- was already hard enough. Going to work for 8-10 hours a day just felt like too much to bear.

All of this over a stupid boy? I guess you could say that. It's not like Jade hadn't tried going on dates since the breakup, it just never felt the same when she did. She always found a reason to push them away, or why they wouldn't work out.

"We just didn't vibe."

he's not gavin.

"Too much like a friend to me."

he's not gavin.

"Just too nice to me."

he's not gavin.